The Obligatory Turning Forty Blog Post.....

I wasn't going to write this.  I have heard it over and over again.  Forty, blah blah blah.....

Then I remembered, it isn't like having a blog about the trials and tribulations of being a mother is that original either.

So, this is what I have to say about today.

Ten years ago, on my 30th birthday:

1) Autism was what won Dustin Hoffman the Oscar.
2) I was perfectly happy in a small town in North Carolina.  I had a house in a new subdivision with a pool.
3) I didn't know the words "Reiki" or "Tough Mudder" or even "Smart Phone"
4) There is no way you could have told me I'd move to the north. I'd only been there once and that was for a high school trip to New York city.
5) I didn't need Facebook, MySpace, or a blog.  Everyone I wanted to talk to was right there in North Carolina.

hmmm, hmmm....to say a lot happened in one decade is a bit of an understatement, isn't it?

It took longer than it should have for me to finally get this message;  you can't fight whatever God has planned for you.   You can try, and he will wait you out.  Eventually, God will get tired of waiting for you. He may send an angel to push you.  Hell, God may send a demon to get the message to you.  But you will get it, you will accept it,  and then life is going to rock.

You can start over. There is nothing so horrible that you can't get up the next day and keep going.   I'm not comfortable with "Born Again" language, because we are all born again and again.  Just this past year it was time to get off the laptop and go into a high school classroom. Now it's time to be a middle school mom.

Any time I try to force my will on anything, it ends up being a hot mess. From now on, I'm going to let it just happen.

I'm good at what I'm good at and I need to embrace that. BUT- when I'm NOT good at something, I need to practice.  Then I'll be good at more things.

It isn't "all about me."  Everything and everybody has their own plan and their own issues and people are going to come and go and come back again.  Or maybe not, and that's ok.

When I think of my 20s and 30s,  I'd do it all over again- every single victory, every single epic fail.

I feel like I just finished folding my 1,000th paper crane.  I'm healed from anything that happened, and I can't predict what's coming my way.


I will always have the Episcopal Church, Harry Potter, and Strong Coffee.

So 40s, welcome. I swear I'll be a good listener this time.  Let's try not to be so dramatic, K?

A little help from my bro.....

In graduate school, we have been assigned parts in a role playing game.

I have attempted to take it very seriously even though it isn’t for a grade because it’s for a dissertation. To a PhD candidate, dissertations are like your baby.  We can’t hurt his baby!

My avatar believes education is created by experience and I keep trying to incorporate the theory and play along like I’m an avatar but this one particular character is insufferable.

I login; probably more than anyone else in the cohort because this is my only chance to be creative and like I said, we can’t hurt his baby.  (Holy God, can they track how many times we lurk?  They all probably think I am crazy.  We can’t hurt his baby…)

I read it with excitement, I need a life…and my character was insulted.  

Another character was rude to my character in an attempt to be funny.

No, that witch did not criticize me….

I’m done. I’m the only one posting and the character was rude.  No one else cares about his baby.

I need help.  I am not going to lose this game.  I haven’t blogged for fun in almost a year.  They gave me something creative to do and now I’m being hurled at with intergalactic insults.  I need someone who played Dungeons and Dragons until he was told to go to bed.  I need someone who can read an L.Ron Hubbard book in one sitting.  I need someone who sent me a plush Shoggoth stuffed animal as a baby gift.

I’m calling my brother.

“Yeah”

This is how he answers the phone.

“I’m playing a role playing game.”

“You?”

“Yes, me.”

“OK I know you got divorced three years ago but enough is enough, did you read that German fairy tale I sent you about the men in grey?  Momo?  No, even better, get out of the house. I’ve heard there is this site called OK Cupid….”

“No!  I have to play this game, but one character was rude to me.”

“So block the griefer…no problem….bye…”

“Hey! Wait a minute- I really need help. I can’t block him…he’s kind of a professor.”

“What???”

“Can you help me?”

“You have twenty minutes and then I’m packing for Louisiana.”

“Louisiana? Didn’t they just approve creationism?”

“What do you want, Big Sis?”

“Does mom know you are going to Louisiana?”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“Oh right…I’m doing a role playing game..…”

“Post-apocalyptic, Space Opera, Cyberpunk, or Steampunk ?”

“What?”

“You can’t just play a role playing game, there are different types.”

“Post-apocalyptic I think…everyone has been floating around for a while like that show with Edward James Olmos you sent me bootlegged DVDs of for my birthday six years ago, and they are coming together, like Caprica maybe?”

“BATTLESTAR GALLACTICA!  CAPRICA WAS THE PREQUEL!!!!! JESUS, DID WE GROW UP IN THE SAME HOUSE????”

“Ok don’t yell at me….it’s like that, post-apocalyptic.”

“War or natural cause?”

“Huh?”

“What caused the apocalypse- war or natural cause?  Oh please tell me it isn't religious…is this for church?”

“No –I told you, grad school and I have no idea why they are wandering around….Look, I made a move and then they were rude to me….”

“Somebody was a jerk on the internet? That’s never happened before.”

One thing all three of us siblings have is sarcasm and quick wit.

“So what do I do now?”

“Play it out Big Sis, that’s what you do…now it’s your turn.  Give it to him good.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t hold back, it’s your turn.  Show him what you’re made of.”

“Can I send it to you?”

“I’ll be in a bayou in Louisiana doing A REAL role play for the US Government.”

“Once again, does mom know?”

“Would you have known if you hadn't called about a game?”

We are such a close family….

“Fine”

“Fine”

“Love you”

“Love you”

Click- no byes, just a click

Play it out, that’s his post- apocalyptic advice. Play it out.  I have quite a bit of creative energy bottled up inside me that is dying to bust out.

Here goes nothing….