Day 25: Unto us a child is born....

I feel like busting out with Dora's "We did it!" song.

Today is about children in so many ways.  Two are napping and one is building his third Lego set.  It is "fixing to" snow. Around here people still get excited about that.  I still do too but I'm bummed it won't be plowed as quickly as up north.  I have both the Thomas the Tank Engine and the Hannah Montana theme songs in my head going at once. All is not calm, but it is definitely bright.

I'm going back to my weekly blog post-but I am definitely planning twenty five more Advent posts next year!

If you stuck with me for the entire Advent Season, I really hope it helped with the "wait."

Thanks for reading!

-Page the Quack

Day 24: It gets done

Remember in college, before the internet or laptops? Those were the days when we were up all night typing papers on word processors that are in computer museums?  Those papers got done.  It gets done.

My husband and I went out for a little alone time and dared to stop at a Walgreens. It had the last thing our daughter asked for-Hannah Montana's microphone! It got done!

The lego kits are out and ready, along with a "Dinosaur dig" kit. It got done!

My children have been spending time with grandparents- they aren't sleeping and they are eating ice cream, and they are completely off their regular routine. I'm the one who will suffer when we get home. It got done!

Friends and family have been visited. Lots of laughs, lots of love. It got done!

I have continued to run four miles a day, despite the fact that I forgot how big trucks were on Piney-Grove Wilbon. It got done!

My sweet husband drove us down I-95 and all over NC without complaining.  It got done!

Tomorrow is the big event. Tomorrow the baby comes that brings hope, love, joy, and peace to the world. Little children will be waking up to cool toys not knowing that they were lucky drug stores were open on highway 401 at ten p.m. 

It will get done! 

I hope you got it done too!

Day 23: Visting the Grandparents

On her website, JK Rowling talked about how Harry and Dudley would remain close enough to visit each other during holidays and other times they were "in the neighborhood."  She also said Lily, James, and Albus would not look forward to these visits. I can only hope my kids don't see it that way.

How many movies have been made about holiday family visit fiascos?  My favorite is the House of Yes, but I don't think that was a holiday.  Another good one is The Family Stone. Affliction is pretty rough.  What would happen if Hollywood made a "We love each other and all get along movie?" Who would pay to see it? Who would buy into it?

We have had our share of family Christmas adventures.  I spent Christmas Eve in the emergency room with a toy top stuck to my finger once. I am sure we had the family screaming matches others have had over whether or not the lights should be white or multi-colored. You know who is going to do what before they walk in the door.  Someone might drink too much, someone might tell obnoxious stories about their kids.  Someone might talk about how wonderful their job is while another can't stand it and talks about how bad work is. Don't lie, you know it.  Despite all of this, we need time together. People need other people.

We loaded up the car today, picked up my mother, and headed to Winston-Salem, just like I have done every year since I was born.  It used to be a joke to see who could spot the Reynold's building first. But then we got confused about which building that was and we kept looking at the Wachovia building next to it.  The years my mother had to drive were actually the best, because my siblings and I would just wave at all the people passing us. At least no one tried to run us off the road or give us the finger. 

The NEXT time I go with my own kids, I will remember more activities for little hands when we go to a retirement community. Today Lowell managed to take all the ornaments off their little tree. Frances dragged out all of the beanie babies my grandmother had been collecting since the 90s, and then Kenneth chucked one at my 83 year old Grandmother's face.  I will say this, I got to hand it to her.  She said, "Now Kenneth, next time, let me know when I'm the catcher. I LOVE baseball!"  I don't know what she would have said thirty years ago if it had been me.

I also LOVE time with my cousins, because I am older than they are.  They were babies when I was a teenager. Unfortunately, they are all adults themselves and this makes me really old.  It is so cool to get to know them that way.  Moe's is our Christmas tradition.  Why try to do anything else?  Turkey?  Sweet potatoes?  Bring on the Joey Bag of Donuts!

Friends: Check
Family: Check

Never forget either!  Who else can you fight with so well????

Day 22: Cookie Time!

I'm not a very good cook, but baking makes sense to me. You measure out the ingredients, mix it together, pre-heat the oven, set the timer, and it's done!  Now I don't get too terribly complicated with my baking choices, but still, it is something I can handle with three little helpers.

This doesn't mean I don't have baking disasters. Last year my best friend and I attempted to make cupcakes for my son's birthday and the mixer caught on fire.  There was also the time Frances helped me crack eggs and according to China, we had a lot of good luck in that cookie batch.

All my buddies on Facebook have been having "baking" status updates. Between the ones that are baking and the ones that have everything wrapped, I feel way behind.  But I have to say, I have participated in a few baking projects this Advent season.

The first one was actually bake free, so it doesn't count but I'll mention it anyway: apple sauce cinnamon Christmas ornaments. Frances, Kenneth, and I mixed and mixed apple sauce into the cinnamon until it finally got thick enough. Then we rolled it out and made gingerbread men ornaments.  The only problem was how long it took to get them to dry.  My children lost patience. But they did end up being really cute and we put them on purple ribbons to hang on the tree!

Then we decorated sugar cookies.  The baby loved it and did a wonderful job with the gum drops.   I couldn't remember if we should  decorate them before or after we bake them. Again, we didn't leave quite enough space between the cookies and a few of them were bigger than they should have been. Either way, they were yummy!

I'm going to bake more next year. I'll even host a cookie swap!  Winner goes to the cookie that doesn't taste like a rock...

Day 21: Time with friends

What a very busy day!  One thing I love about coming back to Fuquay-Varina is remembering the adult life I left behind.  My children love the Bengals, the mascot of the high school I used to teach at.  We went by their old daycare center to say hi. No one can believe my kids are grown, not to mention the bonus child I had in Pittsburgh. Frances was especially excited to see Mrs. Betty, the cook.  I guess my cooking leaves little to be desired.

After that I took them to Crazy Glaze, a ceramic painting studio.  I had always wanted to do that when they were little and now that they were older we had the opportunity. Note to people with a toddler, they can paint a small ornament over and over again, then wet the the newspaper with paint brushes and be just as happy.

Later we spent the day with one of my best friends in the area, jumping on the trampoline and watching Frosty the Snowman.  It's hard to believe that she and I were pregnant with the first kids together-and now we have three a piece.

We ended the day at Chick Fila!  We met some friends from Guilford that now live here.  The girls were so excited to see each other! Guess who was there?  The Santa Cow!  I wonder if my son is the only person to realize that Santa is a boy and cows are always girls....

This is one piece of the holiday puzzle.  Coming back to a place you loved and to people that love you.

If I had time to write a novel of a blog every night, then I'm not doing it right!

Day 20: Jingle all the way....

There are tons of Christmas songs-both secular and Christian.  I think my favorite growing up in church was God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen-and then lo and behold in the Harry Potter world a version of it exists! (Sirius was singing it-Book five).

Jingle Bells lasts forever. It is the one everyone knows and it is very harmless. Anybody can sing it and it is very hard to screw up.  I know it in English, Spanish, and French.

Did you know that it was written for a Thanksgiving program?  It was so popular during the program that they played it again Christmas day.  My favorite version is Dolly Parton's. I mean she makes it sound so freaking happy.  You can be in the worst mood and start singing Jingle Bells her way and all is well again.

I already told you guys my favorite holiday movie is Miracle on 34th street. You have to love the opening scenes with the intoxicated Santa Claus.  Of course right before he passes out, he starts to sing "Jingle Bells."

Wally Schirra and Tom Stoffard played it on the moon, after they told mission control they saw a man in a red suit they didn't recognize.  December 15, 1965-of all the songs to play in space, Jingle Bells won! I have seen the harmonica and bells in the Air and Space museum, so I know it is true!

My Jingle Bell timeline:

•  1989-There is this new show on television and some kid named "Bart" whoever that is, starts singing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg..." during his Christmas show. Ha! Like no one has ever done that before.  I'll bet that show doesn't last.
• 1991-I took an ASL class.  For our final project and party, we had to sign the Jingle Bells song.  Little did I know I was really going to need ASL for my daughter thirteen years later. (Sidenote: before that class, I didn't know that "Bells on bob tails." were bells on a horse. It makes sense, since they are dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh.....)
• 1998-I am teaching Spanish to a behavioral issue class.  All five of the boys love to sing, although their song choices aren't what you would call appropriate for school.  I bring in the jingle bells and they are all singing away in Spanish.  In fact, one of them told me, "No, no, that is not the way you shake the bells.  You need more control."  Then he took the bells and rocked it out.
• 2006-Frances is in a daycare holiday program and her class sings it in Spanish (with my help). At this point we had no formal diagnosis, but she was dancing and shaking the bells while the rest of the class was singing.
• 2007-Kenneth is two and starts singing Jingle Bells in the backseat of the car.  He told me he learned it at school.  I told him no he didn't, because his daycare in Pittsburgh had a "No holiday" policy.  I asked his teacher about it and she said, "Well we do Jingle Bells, nothing is wrong with Jingle Bells."  Silly, silly me.

You can't go wrong with Jingle Bells. You can create world peace with Jingle Bells. I'm surprised Steven Spielberg didn't use it in Close Encounters of the Third Kind......

Day 19: The Nativity Scene

My son was baptized on the fourth Sunday of Advent.  How cool that it is the candle of joy that the baby has arrived!

With the fourth Sunday, all four candles are lit and ready for the big event.  Mary and Joseph are in Bethlehem.  The shepherds have been informed, the three kings are on their way, and next week, we light the white Christ candle!  It sounds a lot like a Nativity scene.

Speaking of Nativity scenes......

I grew up in a Nativity scene house.  We had one that was made out of plaster of paris and I always tried to have Mary ride a sheep instead of a donkey.  It had all the stars of the show in it: Joseph and Mary, the baby Jesus in a manger, The shepherds, the animals, the angels, and all three magi were there.  I loved playing with it.

St. Francis was the first to come up with this in Italy.  He wanted the emphasis to be more on the birth of Jesus and less on the gift giving.  Nice to know this was a problem in the 1200s and humans have always been human. We try to do right, forget why we are doing it, and need reminders. His was a live Nativity with people and animals.  I have never participated in one of these, but I have been to see them and they are impressive.

In my house, I have a Santon set from France my mom sent me. This year I did not put it out.  I remember playing with the one I had growing up in the 70s.  The magi were all painted technicolor pink, purple, and blue.  This one from Provence is very nice and I don't need nor want kids throwing it around.  It's bad enough when the two year old gets a hold of the elf on the shelf and the older two start crying he killed the magic. 

To solve the problem, my mom sent my children a stuffed Nativity scene.  They can throw that Baby Jesus all around the playroom as much as they want.  They can make the baby cry and the sheep say "Baaaaa."  They are learning the story now for later in life.

About the story, I have bad news for people who only go to church once a year (my apologies to anyone who already knew all of this).

• The Magi actually don't get there during the manger scene.  They show up when Jesus is around two.  And no one knows how many were there.  They presented three gifts.  There could have been twenty guys following the star.
• It wasn't necessarily a stable.  The bible says "manger."  The feeding trough could have been in a cave-I got this from my good friend Carrie, who is a Presbyterian minister.
• The angels were more of an army making an announcement, not a church choir.  I don't see them singing, I see them saying, "Go or else!"
• No animals were mentioned either-but the manger implies something was eating out of it.

I don't want to be the Grinch that stole the Nativity, but I used to threaten to my mother that I was going to create two: 1) one that was dark and had a poor little baby in a manger and 2) one with a toddler in the front yard and men show up with gifts he doesn't understand.  I haven't done it yet. 

So why do we put it out if the whole thing isn't true to the Gospels? For the same reason St. Francis did it in the first place. A lot of what is represented in the scene, no matter how and when,  is a reminder to us of all that happened-why we do what we do.  There is a lot of room for creativity and assumption. When I lived in Spain, at Christmas they didn't just put up the Nativity scene-most families I spent time with created the whole city of Bethlehem. 

My mom has branched out a bit since that technicolor 70s Nativity scene.  Now she collects them. She has the one from France, but she has one from Peru, one from Mexico, one I bought in Spain, and various others from other stores that I can't begin to list.  Sometimes I think she needs to be on an intervention show about it. As for my sets, I am going to keep the stuffed Nativity scene out for a while, and keep the French one safe from little hands a few Advents longer. Maybe next year I'll order the Little People one if Fisher Prices still makes it.

I can't wait to see Joseph and Mary go for a ride in a fire truck.....

Day 18: Over the River and through the Woods

It's more like over the George Washington Bridge and through two or three traffic jams and lots of northern toll roads.  I know I'm headed in the right direction when I see signs for Chick-fila!  My husband is so wonderful to drive us down.  Every year we say we are going to experience a Connecticut Christmas, and then the kids start begging for Grandma and Grandpa, and how can we resist those faces?

This was the first time we didn't have to back a lot of baby stuff: no portable cribs or strollers-no sippy cups or extra anything.  The baby carries his diapers in a Spiderman backpack.  No Baby Einstein DVDs going in the back-we watched Shrek Forever After and then I heard the clicks and beeps of hand held games. This was also the first time we didn't lose time in a traffic jam, so the trip was less than twelve hours.  That was a nice first.

Our family is growing up, but the excitement of coming back to grandparents has not changed.  The house is decorated, the dogs are jumping, and ice cream with sprinkles are in special bowls.  Bubble baths are being had, and I'm sitting on the couch blogging.  This is what the holidays are about. :0)

I'd write more, but I'm exhausted.  I hope this snippet was enough!

If you are traveling to see family this week, be careful, but enjoy!

Day 17: Sitcoms and the Mandatory Christmas Special

All of the shows appear to have it written in the network contracts that an episode must include some Christmas themes. Alas, as witty and intelligent as television writers are (cough, cough), there seem to be three common stories that get recycled in a thirty minute sitcom Christmas show.

1) The Gift of the Magi- O. Henry is one of the better known southern story tellers.  Who doesn't burst into tears over the love these two have for each other?  Della sells her hair to buy a chain for her husband's beloved pocket watch.  But her husband Jim sells the watch for hair combs for the hair she doesn't have anymore.  If you have never read the story, the internet is wonderful: Voila!

Which shows used The Gift of the Magi-

1. The Very Brady Christmas-The parents were planning to surprise each other with vacations.
2. Sesame Street- Burt and Ernie give up their prize possessions for Christmas presents for each other.
3. At the beginning of Glee last week, they were all handing over their watches.  That was much better than acting out the whole story, AND I am impressed that some teenagers somewhere still wear watches.
4. Emmet Otter's Jug band Christmas.  Emmet puts a hole in his mom's washtub, and she sells his tool box to buy a dress.  Neither of them win the band contest-but it all works out in the end.
5. The best: The Simpsons-No Christmas bonus for Homer and no savings from Marge (she had to have a tattoo lasered off Bart) But-they got their greyhound!

2) A Christmas Carol-  I remember watching Mr. Magoo's Christmas carol over and over again.  I wonder what happened to it.  Then there was Mickey's version and the Muppets did one as well. BUT the best one was the one done by Family Ties.  Alex, the conservative with the hippie parents, was visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future.  When he woke up to the error of his ways, the only thing open was a 7-Eleven and he bought his father coffee and Jennifer some cough syrup.

3) It's a Wonderful Life!-  You have to sit through a really long movie to get to the magic part. That is all I'm going to say.  It kind of makes sense or the good part doesn't work.  ANYWAY, lots of shows have taken this one and run with it.

1. The Simpsons-  This was the episode Bart started a fire and the town helped them out with money, thought it was a hoax, and they were left with a washcloth.
2. SNL- I know they are a sketch show and not a sitcom, but my favorite holiday sketch is the one where they figure out Mr. Potter took the money and the town jumps him.  I KNOW that is the wrong spirit of the season, but when Dana Carvey screams "Merry Christmas Mr. Potter!" and kicks him out of the wheelchair I just can't stop laughing.
3. Beauty and the Beast-Before Sons of Anarchy, Ron Perlman was Vincent.  What a horrible life it would have been to live under the streets of New York without a beast around to kick butt when necessary. 
4. Dallas-The series finale-An "angel" played by Joel Grey (Jennifer's dad) showed J.R. what life would have been like without him.  Loved those cliffhangers.
5. Married with Children- This was the best of the best.  Sam Kinison was the angel showing Al what life would have been like without him.  Everyone was much better off. 

Maybe I watched too much television.

Day 16: Holidays in the Public School

Maybe I shouldn't go there. Well, I will anyway!

My first year as a teacher, two things happened.  The first one was a huge fight among the faculty at my school about what holiday symbols to put in the lobby. The argument was that if you were going to put out a tree, a Menorah, and a Kwanzaa Kinara, then why can't you put out a Nativity scene too?  I was too young to get involved in the whole mess, but it looked to me like all of it came from the dollar store anyway.

The second thing was South Park. :0) Yes, I watched it. Yes, I still do when I can.  At that time I was keeping up with the enemy.  My students got mad their inside jokes were infiltrated by a teacher.  But by far, one of their best episodes was Season 1, Episode ten. The non-offensive Christmas pageant.  By the time the pageant was on, the South Park kids were wearing leotards and Philip Glass was doing the music.  All I could think when watching it was, "I loved Kundun! (Movie Glass did the music for)"

Today my daughter was in a "Winterfest" chorus concert.  The children sang it all.  They had a Hanukkah song, and it wasn't written by Adam Sandler. They had a Kwanzaa song and those kids belted out each of the principles without taking a breath.  They sang about Santa Claus and the Three Kings. They also paid tribute to Snow and Gingerbread men.

They were having fun.  They were singing.  Moms, Dads, and Grandparents were filming.  I was thrilled my child participated.  I don't think I walked out of there affected by any subliminal messages to change religions.  But I did walk out of there happy my child was not hiding in the classroom crying she wouldn't go on stage.

It was one more moment, one more victory, and one more Advent event to remember. 

Day 15: Stockings were hung by the chimney with care....

Stockings are the best. My grandmother knitted the ones for my brother, my sister, and me.  For a good fifteen years all three of our stockings hung together wherever we lived: Texas, Illinois, North Carolina. Now our poor little stockings are split up.  One is in cold but beautiful Connecticut, one is in nice warm Florida, and a third one has had the luck of traveling all over the world.  I wonder if it is in Korea as we speak.

There are all kinds of stories about the stocking.  One is St. Nicolas wanted to leave a family some gold but the father was too proud. St. Nick waited until no one was looking and hid it in the stockings the daughters had drying by the fire.  That makes sense to me.

What happens if you are bad? You get a stocking full of coal.  Who has that ever happened to for real?  What hard-nosed parent out there exists?  Lemony Snicket of Unfortunate Event fame just published a little Christmas story about a lump of coal's destiny.  It was about time the coal got some airtime.  I have read a story about wood that became a manger and a cracked clay pot that got to be a pinata. Charcoal has a destiny as well!

Pulling all the little things out of your stocking was the best.  Sometimes it was something that your parents wouldn't let you have, but Santa brought anyway. For me that was an ink pad and rubber stamps. It was also nail polish and lipsticks.  How do we keep straight faces when the kids say, "See! I told you Santa would do it!"  I also loved getting cassette tapes (tapes, lol) and that Disneyworld brochure sure was nice.

Anything tiny went in the stocking: little toys, socks, books, gift cards, candy canes, and oranges.  As we got older, we got more and more "necessities" and less and less trinkets.

My husband didn't have a special stocking like I did. I bought him one at the drug store and tried to puffy paint his name on it, but it didn't quite look like mine did.  He didn't seem to understand why I felt a need to fill it with ball point pens, Blistex, coffee drink cards, and other things he could just go grab himself on any given day.  BUT guess who hit the roof the Christmas he didn't get a stocking?

I took extra care to pick out stockings for my kids. I had them monogrammed.  I even ordered a much nicer one for my husband so now his doesn't look like Harry Potter living with the Dursleys.  Last year, we drove to North Carolina and I left the stockings sitting on the dinning room table.

My first thought-well, Christmas is canceled.

Then one of my more talented friends told me go to the World Bazaar and she would decorate some for me.  Now we have two sets of stockings.  Ones that were custom made and ones that were made with extra love to soothe a hyper mommy.

Which ones to use this year?  Ha!  That is assuming  I don't forget all ten of them on the drive down.

If that happens we will use are shoes like the Dutch!

Day 14: The Top Five Best Gifts

The top 5 best gifts!  I have put these in categories.  I wish I could remember more.  I’m thinking about it.  Let me just say that it is perfectly fine to buy off lists, or ask people what they want. It is fine for families to keep it simple and draw names.  I still think gift cards are great, these lists are just if you want to mix it up! All in Advent fun!

Personal triumphs of things I gave to other people:

1. My cousin is a big music person. Once at Barnes and Noble in the clearance bin, I found a marked down book of musicians talking about their favorites songs.  He didn't put it down all Christmas Eve and he ignored a lot of other expensive gifts!
2. I had a girlfriend paint a picture of my children for my husband. She loves that one of her paintings is hanging in a professor's office.
3. I bought my brother-in-law a dart board.  My sister said he played with it for two hours. 
4. I'm going to count this-any time you give someone a Far Side book, they are going to laugh!
5. My grandparents-I don’t know jack about sports, but they are Atlanta Braves fans and they sure did love that model of Turner Field.

Generics that are good to give-trust me nobody wants bird thermometers or singing fish:

1. If you are going to give the hand soaps, I vote for the kitchen ones. Then everyone in the house can wash their hands with it.
2. I love those baskets you can buy at Walmart or Target, my favorite ones have been the pancake mixes, hot teas, and movie nights. You can always get creative and make your own baskets.  Again, think about who you are buying for.  Non-violent, quiet people aren't going to want the Quentin Tarrantino collection. Now I'm inspired!
3. Puzzles are OK, but board games are better for family games!
4. Pot holders, towels, and mugs will always be used.
5. If they collect anything, they will love a magnet of it-assuming the fridge is magnetized. 

The best gifts I ever personally received:

1. A loom so I could make my own pot holders and table runners.
2. Barbie's town house with a pulley elevator.
3. A trip to Disneyworld (brochure in my stocking).
4. A crystal necklace of positive energy. 
5. My husband-he came to visit me in Barcelona before we were engaged!

 Enjoy your last minute shopping-although only the quacks like me are still out there doing it.  The good little mommies are all wrapping it up!

Day 13: Gift mistakes I have made

Sure, sure it is the thought that counts.  It is better to give than receive.  It is all in the spirit of the holiday season.

Um, OK.  If you say so.

We can't all be Oprah and give that perfect gift every single time.  Sometimes we really don't want to pass out cash or gift cards. We want people to open something on Christmas day.  We want them to see it from time to time and think, "Hey-Billy Joe gave me that two Christmases ago."  And they can say that about something perfect, or something that was a complete flop.

Here is a list of things to think about when buying gifts, and I have made these mistakes.  I don't bash anyone but myself:

1. If you are buying kids markers, make sure they are washable. 
2. If you are buying a big toy that makes noise or lights up, check to see if the batteries are included.
3. An anorexic vegetarian isn't going to appreciate McDonald's giftcards.
4. Little girls love makeup, but they smear it all over everything-from their clothes to a Barbie doll's hair.
5. Some people are allergic to peanuts. Ditto on alcoholics and wine, or diabetics and chocolate.
6. People that live in the south don't need heavy sweaters.
7. People that live in the north don't need flip flops
8. Toys that make lots of noise aren't going to be appreciated by the Mom and Dad.
9. Mini tool kits can be used by smart kids to unscrew every screw in the house they can reach.
10. Children aren't as excited about clothes as Mom and Dad are-that doesn't mean it's a bad idea, just don't be put out if the kids don't jump up and down.
11. Christmas decorations are best given before Christmas.
12. If you are going to buy a "gag" gift, make sure the person can take a joke.
13. Don't buy a Steelers jersey for an Eagles fan because, "Pennsylvania is Pennsylvania." 
14. If you buy a bunch of things and keep them in a closet, keep track of who you give what to, so you don't give someone the same coffee mug five years in a row.

Tomorrow, I'll give you a list of my successes!  

Day 12-My favorite visit

I had it in my head that I would be a little deeper on Sundays.  I am sure some people read this blog and roll their eyes that I am calling this 25 days of Advent but I haven't really mentioned the birth of Jesus or any of the Christmas story yet.  Well, here it comes.

Today has been a crazy rainy day.  After church and lunch, we decided we would go see Santa.  Two people were all about this.  One little girl said she would just write him a letter.  She also said why go visit Santa when he sends an elf?  She had a point, but my only answer was, "Your brothers want to go, you can stay with Daddy."

We got to the mall, and the line was ridiculously long.  I mean really, really long.  I talked my son into waiting to go with his grandparents.  Frances then proceeds to do the "Happy Dance" that we are leaving the crowded mall early.  Kenneth does not burst into tears, but might if Grandpa has zero interest in taking him later.

This is the story of my mother life.  Frances didn't talk until she was four, and the first week Kenneth was in daycare his caregiver told me "that baby coos all day."  She walked at twenty months with a lot of therapy.  He took off at nine.  OK, I'm sure everybody is thinking, Where is she going with this? 

My favorite part of the Nativity story from Luke is Mary and Elizabeth's visit.  I went to a pageant either in Cary, North Carolina or Houston, Texas as Elizabeth, John the Baptist's mom.  What do I love about it? Two pregnant cousins!  Think about all your friends you have been pregnant with-when I was pregnant with Frances, so were eight other women in my life.  I can see those really important biblical women "High fiving" each other.  Elizabeth because it finally happened and Mary because she was chosen for something pretty freaking marvelous.  I mean no disrespect, but there were no magazines, support groups, or mommy blog networks.  Mary traveled to her cousin's house and stayed for three months.  I can hear them telling each other: "I'm pregnant!" "I'm pregnant too!"  Wooo whoo!!!  I remember when each of my closest friends and my sister told me they were pregnant.  I love Luke 1:39-56 so much!

And the best part was Zechariah couldn't talk.  Two pregnant women in his house and Gabriel had banned him from speaking.  That left the women wide open: "Hey! Zek-bring us some dates and figs!" Wow.

The other thing I have been thinking about today brings me back to the shopping mall and a line I wasn't going to wait in with two little boys.  I often wonder why my kids are so different and why I have to raise both of them and how am I going to do that exactly?  The third one hasn't even really kicked in yet.  The answer I keep hearing over and over again: we can't hide from the plan. I was chosen to have one that hides in the corner and one that dances on the tabletop for a reason.  And it will unfold as it should. Mary and Elizabeth accepted this.  If they can, I think we all can.

Although sometimes I'm sure my husband would love an angel to ban me from speaking.....

Day 11: The Christmas Card

Christmas cards have been a hot debate among me and my friends lately.  Do we send them out the "right" way?  Do we email them out to some people?  Do we just post them on the social sites for all to look if they want to? Before the internet, those cards and letters were really important.  That is how you kept up with everyone in your life. Once a year-you found out who did what and saw how big the kids were.  You waited for the mail to come with a lot of excitement.  Who would it be today?  The girl you taught with the first year teaching that left education to be in advertising?  Your roommate from Spain that lives in D.C. ?   The girls you went to summer camp with that now live in California?  Advent wasn't just about the waiting, it was about the "catching up."

For example, one of my  mom's best friends growing up sent one every year.  They lived in Charlotte and her daughter "Cathy" was my age.  I never met her, not once. I only saw her picture and read a letter about her once a year.  UNTIL I went to college, and what a coincidence-Cathy was in my dorm room, helping her best friend, my roommate, unpack!  How cool was that?  Can that happen nowadays?  Sure.  Will it happen as often and with the same impact?  Probably not because someone would put on a status update, "Going to help friend unpack," and someone else will read it, and pass it on, and so it will go.

What to do with all the cards you get before you chuck them?  My grandmother has this cool thing in her house where she put them all around the doorways.  She would also glue them into scrapbooks for each year.  I did do that with all my wedding notes and cards and I do love getting that out and skimming it. But alas, I haven't done it with the Christmas cards.

If you need ideas for home therapy you can use the cards for this:

Speech:

 Ask your kids questions about the card.   Keep them talking.  For your non-verbal child, give them one word choices.  For your big mouth, go over the top with the "What ifs?"

Here is a list of possibilities, some are secular and some are religious, just keep talking:

What is in the picture?  What color is the tree? Where is the star?  Where is the baby? Is he asleep or awake? Where is his mommy?  How many kings are there? Can you find the nose on the snowman? Is it a tomato or a carrot? Is it cold or hot?
 
Another thing you can do is mix up all the cards and spread them on the table. Have a scavenger hunt. "Who can bring me a card with Santa Claus on it?  And they scramble to find it.

OT:

 You can cut out pictures from the cards and make collages.  You can also put them together and tell stories. Once I punched holes around a card and they practiced lacing with yarn.


This of course all takes place in January.

As for my own card habits, I have not put together a Christmas card since I became a mother of three and moved around the country twice.

My best two cards before I left the south:

My daughter at thirteen months and our dog Jeremy.  She had on Santa Claus pajamas and he had a big red bow on.  Everyone all over got a kick out of that.

My older two on the chick fila Santa cow. Neither of them would go near the actual Santa, but boy how they loved that cow. He was in a Santa suit, so there you go!

This blog is my card, it is my Christmas project.  I am going to print it out for my grandmother and a couple of other friends that never turn computers on.   Enjoy it as there will be no card in your mailbox with my horrible handwriting on it.  :0)

Now, without further ado, my Christmas card picture:

We hope your holidays are "Super!"

Keep sending the cards, or posting them on your pages, or emailing them out.  However you "Catch up," I love it!

Day 10: A Nutcracker Stream of Conciousness

December 24, 1979
Cary, North Carolina

I'm five years old on Christmas Eve and staying up to watch the Nutcracker.  It will be on PBS the same channel I watch Sesame Street and the Electric Company.  A girl with long hair in a nightgown is staring at a gorgeous Christmas tree with her brother.  Lightening booms and lights on the stage flash.  A scary man appears in the doorway.  He gives away toys.  Clara, my mom says her name is Clara.  She is given a wooden nutcracker, it doesn't look like the silver one my grandparents use to crack walnuts and Brazil nuts. Of course her little brother breaks the jaw. Clara, puts the nutcracker in a doll bed and leaves for the night.

She sneaks out of bed to check on the wooden nutcracker. The clock strikes twelve and the scary man is in the shadows.  The tree grows, the lights flash, the nutcracker comes to life and is joined by all these soldiers and mice. Where did the mice come from and why is everyone fighting?  Clara throws her shoe, I'm going to throw one at my brother.  The mouse king goes down.  The Nutcracker is a prince-will one of my Ken dolls come to life?  They walk into the snow and she doesn't seem to wonder why her doll is now a prince and should she really go with him anywhere.

After popcorn and coke because I'm allowed to drink coke, Clara and the Nutcracker Prince ride a boat to a castle. The Sugar Plum fairy is in charge and so excited to have the Prince back.  Clara is honored with dances.  Lots of dances. The dance of the Sugar Plum fairy is very mellow-like the soft drink.  One is of the same music for the dancing mushrooms in Fantasia-that moves quickly.  And a woman has a ton of children under her skirt-will I have that many children one day?  I don't want any.

Clara leaves-wakes up to the scary man and the nutcracker in the bed.

Back to now:

Thirty-one years later I still remember watching that on PBS with my mom-exactly as I wrote it down. At his school, my son is having lessons on "Tchaikovsky."  He loves to play war between The Mouse King and The Nutcracker with the help of his movement teacher who told him "You can't talk during a ballet."  To which he replied, "Then my mom can't handle it."

In life it is harder to make true friends as an adult.  I think friendships like that taper off after the college years.  With old friends you can say, "I have to drive on the highway..." and they cringe because they know a full blown panic attack is on the way. With new friends, they blink at you.  My son's movement teacher is a true adult friend and she never blinks at me.  Ironically, I became close with her after I had a car accident a week after I moved here. She picked my son up for school until the Pilot was fixed.

How are these things connected?

She is directing the Nutcracker for the New Haven ballet and it opens tonight.  She stepped up for this under sad circumstances, when the boss she loved lost his life to cancer.  It will be phenomenal!

Break a leg this weekend my dear- and when it is all over, we will have a spa day!  How about a Sugar Plum hydrating treatment?

Day 9: The Elf on the Shelf

Last year, my mother gave my children The Elf on the Shelf.  Your first thought when you open the box, read the story, and get the idea is:  who is going to fall for that? Your second thought is "Great, one more thing that the kids who don't celebrate Christmas are going to have to put up with."  But I have to tell you, and I'm not alone in this, Santa Claus having a little "Nanny cam" is a really good idea and once again why didn't I think of it?!

For those who don't know:
When the elf arrives, you read the book with the kids.  This sets the rules and names the elf. Then every day during Advent, or whenever in November/December you start, the kids look for the elf and know they are being watched.  The elf goes back to the North Pole and tells Santa everything it saw and the next morning the kids have to see where it is hiding again.  The elf has been warned by Santa not to speak to the children, only watch and listen. AND if the children touch the elf, his/her magic is gone for the year.

The elf assigned to us has had quite a life so far.  I'm sure the other elves listen to her stories and think, "Good Lord, Santa screwed you!"   I hope she spends the rest of the year on a beach sipping a margarita and reading Twilight novels.

Yes, we have a girl elf.  She came with a skirt.  We named her "Tatty Tale." "Tatty" goes and tattles to Santa what she saw during the day. I have heard my children debating whether or not something is worth doing according to what Santa will find out.  I have also seen my daughter stamp her foot and shake her fist at the elf and say, "DON'T YOU DARE TELL SANTA!"  I have heard my son rattle off all kinds of requests for things there is no way he is going to get.  Instead of complaining to me, they run find the elf and tell her all the atrocities committed by a sibling. Yay!

It gets harder and harder to be creative about where she is hiding.  I have put her in the bathroom to make sure they are washing their hands and brushing their teeth.  I put her in a tea pot to try and trick them. I put her on top of the oven and my son freaked and told me not to cook anything (Gosh darn on that one).  I tried to put her on the curtain rod and she hung upside down and couldn't see anything, so she didn't hide there again.

The elf comes with a LOT of "Ifs."

If you forget to move the elf?  Ask your kids this, "Now why would she want to hide in the same spot twice? What did she see yesterday?"  You will get a confession-"I took two cookies instead of one." or "I pushed my brother instead of using my words."  It's brilliant!

If you are in a book store or another place and see one for sale?  Use your Harry Potter smarts.  Santa has told the elves to act like toys.  How else are they going to get to us?  The magic is activated when you read the story and name the elf.

If the kids are having a really bad day or week? (Or year, but anyway....) Take the skirt off the elf and hide it. THEN tell them Tatty's report  to Santa was SO bad, he sent "BUTCH"  to check things out.  Kenneth swears "Butch" is bigger, but it is the same elf. Ha ha ha...

If the baby actually gets a hold of the elf and starts running around the house with it, tell the older two Santa will re-activate the magic because toddlers don't know better and next time Tatty will pick a better hiding spot. Mommy can put her up high with a towel or tongs.

AND Finally.....

IF in August all hell is breaking loose because summer is coming to a close and school hasn't started, Tatty can always do a "Check in."

Anyone else having fun with an elf?

Day 8: Oysters

Everyone knows what is going to be on the table at a family member's house. Friends had a Thanksgiving episode every season that it aired and it usually centered around Monica's kitchen and what everyone looked forward to eating.  Anyone who celebrates anything has one thing they look forward to eating. For me, it was the scalloped oysters.

My first oyster memory is being four years old and going to the state fair in North Carolina with my grandparents and two younger aunts.  I'm sure the boy who grew up to be my uncle tagged along.  There was a booth with a tank full of oysters in it.  My grandmother picked one out with tongs and the man pried it open.  Then they squeezed and squeezed until two pearls came out of the gunk that I now know is the delicious edible part.   My grandmother still has the necklace with those two pearls plus some gold beads that she added.  Too bad we didn't get to eat it.

I loved the scalloped oysters every Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Why am I speaking in the past tense?  Easy! "Scalloped"  doesn't just apply to the oysters.  "Scalloped" means butter, heavy cream, and cheese.  All the FAT of the holidays is in that one delectable dish.  It also explains what happens to your body after you eat them.  Your butt gets scalloped, your tummy scalloped, your arms and cheeks look just as scalloped and puffy as the dish.  DO you really need that?

Here is the recipe:

1 cup bread crumbs
1 cup butter, melted
1 quart oysters, drained, reserving 8 tablespoons of liquid
4 cups heavy cream
2 cups saltine crackers, crushed

Preheat the oven to 450.  Mix bread crumbs and butter and sprinkle in a buttered shallow dish.  Place half the oysters over the bread crumbs. Season with salt and pepper. Sprinkle oysters with half of the oyster liquid and half of the heavy cream. Repeat with one more layer.  THEN top it with the crushed saltines and bake for 30 minutes.

I am desperately searching for a low fat alternative, but like I said on peppermint mocha day, it is the holiday season and if you run for an hour I'm sure your butt will avoid some scalloping.  It is also about portion control.  One little spoonful won't send you to the bathroom with your finger down your throat, I hope.

I think on my next date night out my husband and I will go to a seafood place and order an appetizer of oysters on the half shell. Ten calories each-no heavy cream.

I can't wait to read Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There with the kids-the poor little oysters didn't see the Walrus and the Carpenter coming!  Yum.....

Day 7: Miracle on 34th Street

Sometimes I don't like the title of my blog.  There is so much more to me and what I have to say than the three children the universe decided to put in my care.  First and foremost, I am a movie buff.  Before them I was a crazy, sarcastic, cynical movie watcher.  Now I have to sit through Avalon High and smile with the hopes that one day my daughter and I can read and discuss The Mists of Avalon.  Not before age sixteen-there will be no graphic love scenes before then. And GOD BLESS the creators of Phineas and Ferb for giving parents and children something to watch together.

I try to watch movies and I do, but not two or three a night.   Nowadays I hit the movie theater for special occasions.  The Christmas before my husband and I started a family, we went to see "Catch me if you can" Christmas day, because we knew it would be a long time before just the two of us could go do whatever we wanted without thinking of someone else.  That was a great Christmas!

What is my all time, personal favorite, Christmas movie forever?

Miracle on 34th Street

Why?  I'm glad you asked!

First of all, we are talking about a little Natalie Wood-THE Natalie Wood.  Natalie before Rebel Without a Cause.  Natalie before Westside Story. Natalie before Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice.  In 1947, she was little Susan Walker who didn't believe in Santa Claus.  I don't want to bash anyone or name names, but where did some other childhood stars end up? She was the real thing and it started early.

Second-Sometimes it is all right to be delusional and psycho.  That old man was not Santa Claus. We can argue the end of the movie all you want but that is not the point.  The point is all he wanted to do was help people find the true meaning of Christmas.  I loved it when he started sending parents to the stores that had what their children wanted and not what Macy's had bought too many of and needed to sell.  That made him Kris Kringle.

Third-it was the 40s, and Susan's mother Doris was a business executive in New York and a single parent.  That gave the movie a "B" rating by the decency league. It was morally objectionable to have a divorced working mom in a film. This was forty years before Murphy Brown. Of course, I didn't like that because the woman's love life had failed she felt a need to remove imagination and creativity from her daughter's life.  But hey-at least she wasn't getting notes from the school teacher saying Susan had asked yet another little boy if he wanted to play Prince Charming at recess. There is always a bright side.

Fourth- There is no more powerful scene in a holiday movie to me than when Kris Kringle speaks Dutch for that little girl. I start crying just thinking about it.  And don't start with me on that ridiculous Elizabeth Perkins remake.  Watching Santa sign was just not as effective to me.  I signed with my daughter for the first three years of her life, so I can say that.  Thanks to google, I now know that he asked her what she wanted for Christmas, and she told him nothing, because she had been adopted and had a mother. That makes total sense when you watch the scene knowing what is what.

Some of my favorite quotes:

Alfred the janitor: "Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck."  (I had no idea where Brooklyn was the first time I saw this movie.)

Susan when explaining there are no giants: "Sometimes people grow very large, but that's abnormal."  (I could hear my middle child saying something like that).

Susan: But when he spoke Dutch to that girl...
Doris: Susan, I speak French, but that doesn't make me Joan of Arc. (Try arguing with a smart kid and you lose it.)

And Finally:


"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."  (Boy oh boy do I cling to that one).

What a great movie-with a courtroom scene and all!

Day 6: The Grocery Store Diaries Holiday Special!

Dirty Looks: More than you should get during the holiday season!
Damage control: We knocked over:  five boxes of cheerios, four yogurt cartons, three soup cans, two red apples, and a some ice cream in the deep freeze!

It is only the beginning of December, why is the parking lot filled this early in the month?  Apparently there aren't a lot of shopping choices on the shoreline so everyone has to be out now. It takes fifteen minutes to drive around looking for a parking spot and I should give up trying to find one close to the store.  I finally squeeze into one and threaten them with all that I can threaten with NOT to open the doors.  They both need to wait for me to come around and open the doors or they are going to bash in the cars next to us. All I need is an irate women in the middle of the crowded lot screaming I ruined her car.  I wiggle out and try to wiggle the kids out, but they get hot in the car and have taken off their jackets and their shoes and socks.  Ugh.

The smart, or really atrocious, thing about the grocery store this time of year is that they have toys everywhere. I lecture them in the cart before we roll it over the automatic door trigger: No no no no...we are NOT buying toys....we will wait for Santa... no no toys from a grocery store that you will forget about five minutes AFTER we get home.

Three little smiles!

"OK, we won't ask for TOYS......"

The first aisle:
"Cookies Mommy! Don't you want to make Christmas cookies! Look at all the different cutters and sprinkles."
Me thinking:  Cookie decorating could be wonderful for speech, fine motor skills, and following simple directions. Yes, let's buy the cookie stuff.

The cart is now filled for cookies.

The second aisle:
Gingerbread houses!  Mama! Mama!  Let's make a gingerbread house and this year I know a gingerbread family will live in it. Can I have a friend over to make a house with? Please?  Gingerbread houses!

Me thinking: Gingerbread houses will keep them busy for at least thirty minutes. We can work on patterns and math skills with the gum drops.  They are already put together, so I won't make a mess this year like I did in Pittsburgh.  We could invite some other little boys over, and then it is a social activity which is good for Early Intervention, plus I have another mom to share my pain.

The cart is now filled with cookies and gingerbread houses.

The third aisle:
 ATTENTION SHOPPERS YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THE HOLIDAY SALE AT THE BUTCHER SHOP!  The guy on the intercom my children have never noticed before.  They must be really loud on any other given day.

"Mom!  There is an angel in the grocery store!  He is telling us what to do-just like the shepherds had to go to the stable.  We have to buy meat!"  Ok, ok. I could not be prouder that my children listen in Sunday school. I really really couldn't. But no angel is here telling me to buy meat.  We did however need hamburger for dinner.

Checkout:

Would you like to donate to the homeless today?

No thanks-I was in a hurry to fight the parking lot crowd, I knew at least five cars would be waiting on me to back out as quickly as I could with three kids and a cart full of junk.

Children with big ears:
WE AREN'T GOING TO GIVE TO THE HOMELESS?!!!!

OK Fine-we have now bought a "food bag" to donate to the food bank.  Should have done it anyway, thanks babies.

Did we even get food? To eat?

Well, they didn't ask for toys...

Day 5: Lighting the Advent Wreath

I had the same Priest growing up from 1983-1997.  He definitely influenced my world view.  He had a booming voice and he did a lot of the same things over an over again. He had a sermon on the homeless I heard about three times.  He also had one on The Giving Tree I might have heard four.  I thought about this about a year ago when I was screaming at my kids to sit down and listen to Shel Silverstein's beautiful book and couldn't they be more grateful I was reading to them?  You know, one could argue that the sermons should change, but A) I remember it because I heard it more than once, and B) The Lectionary repeats itself every three years-so why shouldn't a sermon do that too?  But what he always did every Advent, was the Children's Advent Wreath Ceremony.  I participated in it starting at age eight and it was going strong when I left for college ten years later.

Every week for four weeks we lit the candles on the big wreath in front of the nave, where all of us were sitting, but before you got to the chancel, which led up to the altar.  It was definitely on the lectern side and not the Gospel one. True to the wreath there were three purple candles and a pink one for the Shepherds. I never understood why the shepherds preferred pink to purple. Maybe they wanted to be different because they were filled with so much joy?  Were they tickled pink with the Angel's glad  tidings?  I didn't ask him any of those questions, because the questions were ready for us.

Before we went up to big church, we had to practice for the lighting in Sunday school.  We practiced the questions we were going to ask him "Why do we light one candle?"  "Why do we light two candles?"   "Why do we light three candles?  "Why do we light four candles?"  Making sure we had the questions down was a big deal.  It was like he was going to forget to do it if we didn't ask him, or worse he was going to light the wrong amount of candles if we asked the wrong number.  If I had been wittier back then I might have asked a different question.  I can still hear him answering: "This candle reminds us of hope." If you don't believe me, a copy of the service for your enjoyment can be found here.  You can also make this beautiful Advent wreath crafts with your kids here.  So what if we never "mixed it up?"  I know my Advent candles.

The Moravian tradition is another one that is very special to me.  My great-grandmother was Moravian, as is my son's Godmother.  They take their Advent wreaths one step further.  For them it kind of serves as charm bracelet for the year, and they put little charms and pictures in among the greenery.  Let's see, this year's Advent wreath would have a little shoe in it for my half-marathon, small glasses, a plastic snake for the time Kenneth met one at the lake, various super heroes and trains, and a small Pennant or charm from Yale for bringing us here.

If I were a psycho control freak mom, I would make all three of them stand around the dinning room table and act out "Papa Bill's" Advent Ceremony or no one would eat dinner.  But fortunately for them, no one told me candles melt in the attic and then re-harden when it gets cold again. 


Must go get ready to light the second candle-Joseph and Mary might not make it to Bethlehem without my kids there to ask why we are doing it!

Day 4: The Tree Lighting Gift

My first Christmas here I was in newborn coma, so we did not go to the tree lighting.  The second  year was the year of the  H1N1 scare, so we didn't go to the tree lighting.   This year, Everyone can walk and talk. Last night, we hit the tree lighting. 


First, I parked in a friend's driveway so I wouldn't have to drive for an hour looking for a parking spot.  Twenty minutes was spent bundling up. I don't think I ever used half of all the winter clothing that exists when I lived in North Carolina.  I made sure all three of them had on thick coats, vests, gloves, and hats that actually covered their ears.  Once bundled, I walked twice around the car to make sure that we left no trash on their lawn. :0) If we did, sorry Di....


Once we made it to the library, Frances began to get nervous.  "It's a crowd Mommy, it's a crowd." She doesn't do crowds and I try to avoid them, but I also try to find ways to help her when she has no choice.


"Frances, we are going straight to our church."  I could feel the anxiety leaving her the minute I said a familiar place. We all held hands on the sidewalk and made it to the church where the youth were selling Advent Wreaths and hot chocolate and inside dinner was going.  Once she was there, she was able to eat and enjoy the people she was familiar with, and more importantly, they are familiar with her.  It worked for her.


But she isn't an only child.

The other two are looking across the street at the center of the green with so much excitement and anticipation. "Mama! Mama! Let's go!  Let's go!  Santa Claus is there!  COME ON!"


But she wouldn't go, "No thanks Mommy." She tries really hard to be polite about the whole thing and not throw a tantrum.  So both, yet again, have needs I can't simultaneously meet.


"She can stay with me." Said the other Sunday school teacher I have worked with for two years now (not some random stranger-don't anyone panic).


I took the boys to the green and said "Merry Christmas" and "Happy holidays" to lots of random people I have met over the last two years.  Does this make me a Who down in Who-Ville?


I had the baby on my shoulders and the countdown started-he has been in Birth to Three long enough to start counting with his brother. 5....4....3....2......1  and the lights are on the tree!

Everyone clapped and cheered and the boys were laughing.  The baby was talking in complete sentences on my shoulders, "Look Mommy!  The tree is lit!  The tree has colors!"


And Frances, being Frances, had watched from a safe place for her, in the church parking lot, with my friend, and had had just as much fun.  It was a cold walk back, but the car was nice and warm.


If I had done this two years ago, the experience would not have been the same.  I would not have had a friend's driveway to park in.  I would not have known anyone to help me avoid a meltdown. I wouldn't have had anyone to wish anything to. I more than likely would have severely under-dressed all of us and everyone would have been running back to the car before Santa said, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"  There would have been no joy in the start of the season.  That is what makes a "Community" so special. I am grateful to everyone I have met over the last two years.  Thank you Guilford!



And I just found out we need to all come back to the green on June 27th, our family now qualifies for some cool lottery.....Yay!

Day 3: The Second Night of Hanukkah

I am all about diversity. Bring it.  In fact, let's start with everyone in the north accepting that this Southern Belle is here to stay!  Have you noticed that bloggers find ways to make everything about themselves?

I know that December is a month of lots of holidays.  As they talk about all of them, my children come home with many more questions about what they learn at school. Nick Jr. has activities here.  Playhouse Disney has all kinds of celebration activities here. The one holiday my older two always want more of  is Hanukkah.  While they are celebrating diversity, my kids have seemed to have missed that not all the traditions are celebrated by everyone-that's what makes it diverse.


"Mom, why don't we light a menorah?"
"Because we don't."
"But why don't we?"

"It's not our tradition. We are Episcopalian."
"But can't we?"
"Well no, it's not our tradition."

Then I had too much caffeine in my system from my peppermint mocha and was up at night thinking about it.

Well, why can't he if he is interested and I have been told to celebrate diversity? Do we check a book out of the library? Do we buy one on our own? What do I do?


I asked my Jewish friend and running partner about this-hoping she would not be offended that my son wants a menorah. She is the mother of two sons as well, but she has a better handle on it than I do. If they are playing Jedi, all she has to do is tell her boys, "Remember, only the light sabers touch." And they do it.  Not surprisingly, she had a handle on this too.

 
"Page, of course he is curious about something he is learning about at school. Why don't you come for the second night at our house?"


We lived in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood in Pittsburgh for a year.  No one rocks out Hanukkah like Squirrel Hill.  The Jewish Community Center had a huge menorah outside with lights lit for each night.  One afternoon I held my older two and we watched the Hanukkah parade go by on Murray Avenue.  Families came as far away as Cranberry to watch it. I will never forget that moment as long as live and I don't think I will ever see that anywhere else.  But until last night, I had never lit a menorah.

My children, being my children, make nervous on a normal day.  I am always paranoid when we go to someone's house and twice as paranoid on a special day. They most certainly didn't disappoint me.

They were dead quiet during the lighting of the two candles, and one of them started to talk a little during the prayer, but now I can't remember which one it was.  After the prayer, my daughter asked if she could make a wish and my son wanted to know who got to blow the candles out.  My friend answered them so sweetly by telling them they could always wish for anything and the candles go out on their own after thirty minutes.  How does she do it?


They ate their potato latkes while my son kept saying, "I know what those are!  I know what those are! I know all of it!  These are delicious!" I think I owe her another jar of applesauce.


Then, because they are children, they all ran upstairs to play with the new Hanukkah gift: Wii.

They had a wonderful time-and I feel like they have more knowledge about it than they did the day before.  It is one thing to read a book or do it at school, but to go to a special friend's house and be included has never happened to me before-even growing up with my friend Ray Ray down the street-his was the only Bar Mitzvah I ever attended.


As we were leaving Kenneth said to his friend, "Bye! Come to our house the third night!"

You know, a little oil that can burn for eight nights and friends that know how curious children can be are definitely miracles to thank God for!

Day 2: The Peppermint Mocha Spectrum

I was very anti-Starbucks for a very long time.  I wanted my beans to come from a local independent coffee shop.  There is a coffee house on Hillsborough Street that I spent a lot of time in during those college and post college years.  I can still smell the place and when I go home, a lot of the same customers are sitting in their same seats.  My husband always got a drink card, sometimes two, in his stocking for his morning iced King latte.

Then we moved away from Raleigh.  While we were anti-Starbucks, we were coffee addicts. Guess what was right near our house? I mean really, guess what is right near anywhere? Actually, there were two of them-one on each end of the block. Starbucks had to become our new favorite. Either that or brew at home.

Starbucks must have a drink formula.  I can order a skinny vanilla latte in any Starbucks anywhere and it tastes exactly the same. At other places the quality of the drink depended on anything from who was working the espresso machine to what time of day you ordered your drink.

What I love about Starbucks is that every year they bust out the holiday drinks:
Gingerbread, Eggnog, and my liquid crack: PEPPERMINT MOCHA.

You can smell it when you walk in the shop with its pretty colors and mugs.  They play music that must do something to make you want to order a pricey drink. You know the sound of the chocolate pump, the frothing milk, the espresso being packed for the brew-tamping for the baristas out there reading this.  Then they give you this chocolate peppermint delight in a beautiful paper cup that is bad for the environment but has a wonderful quote or holiday design and message on it.

I could easily drink three of those divine drinks a day during the holidays.  They remind me of dipping peppermint sticks in hot chocolate. Only they are better than candy canes melting away in microwaved Swiss Miss.  They are thick and evenly smooth as only a Starbucks employee has been trained to serve you.  The problem?  They aren't helpful to the twenty-five pounds and counting I have lost since I started running again.

Peppermint Mochas, like other things in my life these days, come on a spectrum.

At one end: You have a tall (12oz) nonfat peppermint mocha without any whipped cream.  This is 250 calories, which is still a bit much.  At the other end: a VENTI (20oz) whole milk peppermint mocha smothered with whipped cream and little chocolate shavings.  Close your eyes if you don't want to know, but it's 520 calories.  I can visualize every anorexic I've ever known running out the Starbucks pretty glass door right now screaming she gained half a pound just inhaling the air.

So, what to do other than order one of their herbal teas? Pick and choose off their spectrum!  Mess around with your size, your milk, and skip the whipped cream whenever possible. Decide if you want to eat less that day to allow your holiday treat.

My children and I just finished reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory together.  One of the best descriptions in the book is Charlie eating his birthday chocolate bar.  That is all he gets for his birthday-one chocolate bar.  First, he stares at it for a few days and doesn't touch it.  THEN he peels back one corner and nibbles on the chocolate bit by bit. He only takes enough chocolate each day to let the flavor cover his tongue.  He makes that birthday chocolate last a month.  My children have no clue how good they have it sometimes I swear.

I believe in the "Charlie Approach" when you buy the full blown Peppermint Mocha. Go for a ten mile training run, then order the 520 calorie baby.  Sip on it all day long-and then eat some carrot sticks for dinner.


The season comes just once a year, right?

Day 1: The Advent Calendar

Advent is my favorite liturgical season. Epiphany?  Well, moms of little kids can't think hard enough to have one. Lent is painful and sad-as it should be.  Pentecost is my second favorite as I speak three languages.  Ordinary time?  Ordinary time? Honestly-what the hell is that?  Therefore, Advent belongs to me!

I said it last year, Advent is the time of year when we wait for a miracle to come save us. I am always in need of a miracle. Save me from my lack of organization.  Save me from the inability to keep my mouth shut.  Save me from struggling with a daughter I have spent the last five years working on-and now she doesn't need me quite as much as she did. That's what I wanted, right?

Advent is the four Sundays before Christmas. The Advent calendars I have seen start on December first and go through the 25th.  I love this time of year so much I had a "Christmas in July" wedding shower where everyone brought gifts for the holiday season. The Christmas Frances was one I bought a cute little calendar at Hallmark and we opened a window every morning to read the story of Luke.  I'm sure it was more for me than her.  Some of those calendars come with a little chocolate inside, but I would be way too afraid I would just eat all twenty five on the first morning.  Either that or with three kids, who gets the chocolate each day?  I'm not organized enough to keep up with who ate the day before. So no chocolate calendars here.

Advent is happy waiting-literally, like a child on Christmas Eve. It's active waiting.  Not the solemn suffering reflecting of Lent.  This is why December nearly kills us with the parties, the parades, the cookie baking, the card opening, and the shopping.  We are keeping busy for the big event.

Mr. Rogers used to sing a song called, "Let's think of something to do while we're waiting."  I loved that song and TRY to use it with my kids.  The most important line to me is to find "Something to do that's specific to you." Everyone has a special way to wait.

What am I going to do while I'm waiting?  What's specific to me?  I'm going to blog while I wait-25 days of Advent Quacks. Last year I joked that there should be a "Page a page a day" calendar. Now there kind of is!

I hope you enjoy it!  And if you don't mind-spread the word.  If I'm going to make this commitment I want readers.

The Christmas Tree

I wrote this for Share Our Voices.  Enjoy!

Something I forgot to say

It seemed like throughout the whole movie, Daniel Radcliffe always ended up in his boxers. Well, those of us that saw Equus, no big deal.....

My Deathly Hallows Part I Opinion

I waited a week, and I am now posting my Deathly Hallows review.  If you have not gone yet or you could care less, skip this post. I give you permission to apparate on over to another blog.

A "Page" point for the masses: the only movie to ever follow a book to the "T" is Rosemary's Baby-that was a horror novel about a woman pregnant with the devil's son.  Grow up and know that not every little detail can be put into a movie!  I know my details just like anyone else. Oliver Wood should have been pulled out of charms in movie one.  Hermione's Yule Ball dress was periwinkle blue, not pink like in movie four, and I was in labor when I saw that.  I know a little more about the screenwriting process than I did a year ago, and these writers do all they can to be true to a novel and not con-volute the screen. Although we all have our favorite parts WE would have included if WE had written the script, WE need to give the writers some respect.

I went opening night, although sadly as the working mom of three little ones, the midnight show wasn't going to happen. :0(  BUT I got to see the movie with a British friend!  When she bought our tickets, she told me she had "Sorted it out."  If we got there early we wouldn't be too behind in the "queue."  We were both wearing our Gryffindor scarves and of course I had on my hand knitted, custome ordered just for me, Weasley sweater.  We were there an hour early and the theater was packed, but we still had awesome seats! One of these days I'm going to get her to say "Are you taking the mickey?"

The best part about opening night is that all the crazies are there and you are just as crazy as they are. Several are dressed up. Everyone claps at the right scene, shrieks for the right scene, and cries, yes I said cries, during the right scene.  We even tend to do it a little early because we know what is coming next.  When Dobby the elf gave his speech, people were sobbing before Bella even lifted her dagger.  The audience seemed to be satisfied with where they left the film.  Now Voldemort and Harry both have what they need to face each other and we know that.

Now, my personal opinions on the actual film:

People who follow my blog know that as a general rule I despise romantic comedies.  But I did begrudgingly watch Notting Hill.  I was hating every minute of it until "Spike" walks in the flat and announces, "just going to the kitchen to get some food, then I'm going to tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins."  I have never, and I mean never, laughed so hard during anything that was fluff. Rhys Ifans stole that movie from Julia and Hugh.  I mean he filched it good.

Eleven years later, his scenes in Deathly Hallows were some of the best and most memorable.  I could easily see how Xenophilius Lovegood raised Luna (as a single parent since she was nine, by the way). How badly do girls want to believe the crap their fathers teach them? Not only did he steal the wedding scene before the bad guys showed up, but he was also able to pull off a father's love by selling out the trio because he adored his Luna. Kuddos Rhys! (Screenplay/novel side note-Xeno did not have strabismus in the movie, and as a mother of a child with strabismus, it would not have bothered me if they hadn't written it out).

This movie flowed together much better than some of the others. The Ministry of Magic scenes were incredible and really well done.  Those adults had to work hard to imitate the actions of Ron, Harry, and Hermione. We also got a dose of  Dolores Umbridge who in some ways is far more evil than Voldemort.  Loved it!  I also loved the shadow puppet sequence used to tell The Tale of the Three Brothers.  I wasn't as excited about the Godric's Hollow scenes.  It might have been bad editing, but they did not explain how Harry ended up in his old bedroom and that Grindelwald was related the Bathilda Bagshot-but that may be coming in part II.

My biggest fear was this: could the trio hold the movie on their own for the chunk of limbo in the forest? Since the actors have been at this for ten years now, they most certainly did.  I have my doubts that unsupervised teenagers would have only danced in the tent, but whatever.  We need some suspended disbelief. And the Snatchers and all of the their sexual innuendos toward Hermione-are we trying to compete with another film series?

One warning-reading something isn't always as scary as watching it on the big screen.  Nagini scared me silly this go round and we met her in Goblet of Fire.  She gets a lot of air time in this film and I can't wait for Neville to chop her head off.  Voldemort could get his own episode of Fatal Attractions on Animal Planet.


The one thing I would have liked to see was Harry and Dudley shake hands.  Again, I'm not the writer and who knows what is coming later?




July 15th-please come soon!  Maybe I'll wear black like a dementor because I'll be so depressed the whole thing finally is over.

A Lego challenge

Let me just say that I have grown significantly in the birthday party department.  Not much has happened in the cooking and the cleaning areas of my life, but I think I have the birthday party mastered.  I would definitely be teased in a Jennifer Weiner novel.  Connecticut will do that to you.

My son opened all his presents when we got home.  The problem with an evening party is that you can't open all the presents and then say, "OK sweets, let's go get ready for bed."  Well, maybe June Clever could, but I couldn't. So by 8:30 I had had enough of Iron Man and dragged my child upstairs kicking and screaming. 

He was up at six playing with all the new toys, and I came into the kitchen just in time to see him hold up a Lego kit.  When I say "No, you are still in your pajamas, you haven't had breakfast, I need to make your lunch, and then we have to load the car for school, so wait and do that with Daddy tonight," he blinks at me but doesn't say anything.

Two minutes later I hear the tinkle of little Lego blocks falling all over my kitchen floor and he starts spreading them out in an attempt to make a truck just like the one in the picture. The other two are up now and screaming for breakfast and clothes-we need those things for school.

Count to ten Page, breathe Page, you can't have a margarita at six am, Page......I smiled and turned around.

"Honey, I promise I will help you with the Lego kit if you put it all away now and get ready for school."  He found a Tupperware container and we made sure every single block was up.  Then we put it up very high away from little brothers and got ready for another day driven by a Lego promise.

I mean, they are only blocks.  How hard could it be?

I don't remember my own brother having a lot to do with them.  I know my nephew adored them. They were created in Denmark.  The Little Mermaid and Legos-that is about all I know about the Danish.  I need to learn more-I'll get on it.

We came home around four and spread them out on the kitchen table.  All Legos are little.  But little doesn't always mean little.  Some are small, some are tiny, some are teeny, and some are lilliputian.  No wonder everyone steps on them. What does a vacuum cleaner suck up more of-Legos or Barbie shoes?  That is the question.

After about twenty minutes of my child crying over the picture and his blocks looking more like a wall than a truck, I told him to get the instruction book.  If you have never done a Lego kit before, I have to tell you the instruction booklet is designed for idiots like me.  First, it is VISUAL.  All pictures and very few words-starting with how to sort your Legos into groups that are tiny or lilliputian.  THEN you go through your booklet number by number and they show you which block to put where. You don't move to the next page until you are done with the one you are on.

The Lego kits teach SKILLS.  We had to slow down and go step by step. We had to follow directions or create more work for ourselves. We didn't move on until we were done with one piece, and if you make a mistake with your blocks sometimes you have to take a lot of other pieces off to correct it.

The only problem with Lego projects is the dishes can easily go undone while you are putting together a hundred microscopic blocks.  The two year old was watching us and singing the theme song from "Bob the Builder," but my daughter disappeared into the playroom.  I don't know what she did up there but I didn't hear anything crash. AND dear parents of the world out there reading this, I just love it when we do all the grunt work on a project.  After an hour of block sticking, our child puts on the decal stickers and the tires, then says "Look at the truck I made!"  Yeah, it is about them anyway, right?

The Lego kit is done and there are no spare blocks to be had in the house. Are we ready for another project or a trip to the Lego museum? No, not really.

But now I know how to follow directions.

A shark, a jaguar, and a cobra walk into a bar....

I have a really hard time keeping all three of them quiet in the car.

End of post see you next week.

Ha!

I am capable of tuning them out, but I get in these moods where they should learn not to act like total savages just in case one day they meet someone famous. It could happen....

Yes, we listen to CDs, books on tape, and when traveling long distances, we bust out the DVD player. I know how to google and read the blogs of more competent mothers.

BUT- I wanted to know what would happen if no technology was available to me-call me a sadist. I thought about I spy, and then I trashed that idea because of a joke I heard in middle school about two dogs. I also thought about keeping a list of all the different trucks and cars we could find, but I would have to keep track and I was trying to drive. Hmmmm-what to do?

Eureka! I remembered the 20 questions game.  The "answerer" comes up with something and you have twenty yes/no questions  to deduce what it is.  My kids got into the game and ask really good questions when I am the answerer. The glitch is when it is their turn to come up with something, they are a little on the predictable side.

A good ten minutes is spent going over who gets to go first.  This drives me crazy. Does it really matter who gets to go first? Apparently it does. Once we have killed time with that, we start the game and the answer is always an animal-that is the way we play it.

My daughter is in Disney Channel mode.  So we know before she says, "I'm thinking of an animal..." that it is a platypus, and his name is Perry.  Now God bless Disney for all they do, but my daughter thinks a platypus is green and lives in the tri-state area. So when her incredibly technical by the book little brother tells her, "no, the duck billed platypus is brown and is native to Australia, just like the Wiggles." All freaking hell breaks loose.

Then it is her brother's turn.  He picks one of three animals every time.

1) Sometimes, it's a cobra...

K: I'm thinking of an animal.
Me: Is it a reptile? (I know it is a reptile.)
K: Yes.
F: Does it have a shell?
K: No
Me: (thinking, do I drag this out or yell out the answer?) Is it cold blooded?
K: Yes!
Me: Is it ______________________?(Someone's name and it isn't nice so I won't repeat it here.)
K: (confused) Mom, she isn't reptile. (that he knows of)
F: Does it have sharp teeth?
K: No
Me: Does it live in India?
K: Yes!
Me: A cobra?
K: YESSSSSS! Mom you are so smart!

2) Sometimes he picks a shark....

K: I'm thinking of animal and it lives in the OCEAN!
F: Nemo!
K: No Frances, think of a dangerous ANIMAL!
Me: Is it in Nemo?
K: YES!
Me: Does it have teeth?
K: YES!
F: Does it bite?
K: YES!
Me and Frances: A shark?
K: YES-how did you guess?

3) If it isn't a shark or a cobra, it's a jaguar...

K: I'm thinking of an animal
Frances: Does it live in the jungle?
K: Yes!
Me: Does it have fur?
K: Yes!
F: Does it belong to Diego?
K: Yes!
Me: Does it have spots?
K: Yes!
Frances and Page: A jaguar!!!!
K: You two are amazing!  How do you know so much?
Me: Oh you know, living with Daddy, intelligence rubs off.
K: Wow Mom.

I know, wow.....

Maybe I should dig around for the DVD player, but this is just too much fun.

Happy Halloween!

I had every intention and my husband's permission to write a tribute to Glee and Rocky Horror and the time I got dumped by a conservative Republican after going to a midnight show. It was going to be so funny I was hoping someone would drop their laptop.  But my children have hijacked me again, like they tend to do....it started with a transformer who calls himself Bumblebee.  Before I begin, why is a big bad robot thingy called Bumblebee and not Stag Beetle or even Cockroach?  Yellow Jacket or even Hornet gives me a bolder image.  I'm so lazy sometimes I can't even google the big important questions.

I tried to be organized this Halloween season and hit the Halloween store October 1st.  My daughter picked out a fairy and my son the yellow transformer.  All was well with the world and I could pat myself on the back that I had the task down, even if I wasn't super mom with creative homemade costumes-skip over to Crying Daddy for that, his wife is a dynamo (has to be to live with that man....).

What I forgot was that Halloween is one day, October 31st.  Halloween costumes are made to be worn one day, October 31st.  My child wanted to be Bumblebee Cockroach from October 1st-October 29th.  On the 29th I realized he was running around the playroom with the thing falling apart and the mask was cracked everywhere.  Grrrrrr

At first I told him to dig around in the dress up box until he found something suitable.  But he hit me hard below the belt.  He played the one card that my three biological children and every student I have ever taught since 1998 knows they can play.

"Mom-I would love nothing more than to be a Harry Potter with you."

The Halloween Express store is not the place you want to be on October 30th.

It was packed and it reminded me of a Christmas tree lot full of Charlie Brown pine needles and there wasn't a blanky in the world that was going to cut it.  We found a clerk who pointed us in the Harry Potter direction, but only the accessories were left:  Scarves, wands, and glasses.  No robes.

Fortunately for Kenneth, he didn't have some semi-knowledge Harry Potter Mama.  His mama went into labor with him during Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and finished the movie.  Before he even shed one tear, I told him he could be "Summer Holiday Harry" and wear one of his father's ratty sweaters so it looked like he had a Dudley hand me down on.  This idea was wonderful for my child who while trick or treating today told any adult that would listen, "I'm wearing this sweater because the Dursleys are jerks."  Thanks baby.  You made me proud.

I suppose everyone thinks it was easy to just grab glasses, scarves, and a wand and get out of there. But no, nothing is ever easy, even when the baby is in the car with Daddy.  Kenneth looked at the wands and said,
"I'm supposed to try each one right?  One is supposed to match me, right?"  I had to explain that they were toys for Halloween.  He looked shocked but went with it.

Then at check out, the guy looked like he was working to support his habit if you know what I mean, but Kenneth has to bust out with "Now, you are sure this has a phoenix feather inside, correct?"   I am floored by his knowledge but can't help but realize people are looking at me like I'm a loony toon.

He took it out of the box after we left the store and took it to eat lunch.  This is when I scared myself a little with my Harry Potter knowledge.  Kenneth was flicking his wand and asking me questions.

"Hey Mom! How do I open the door?"
"Alohomora!"


"Mom, how do I put the light out?"
"Nox"



"It's too loud-how do we get it quiet?"
"Quietus."

Then it was time to eat and put the wand away-but not before the couples at the other tables had had a good laugh!

I hope that wherever you are you had a wonderful Halloween.  Nothing is more meaningful than sharing something you love with someone you love-be it a sports team, a hobby, or even the love of a book series!


And to all the Lily Mamas, the Molly Mamas, and even the Petunias and their Diddys- may your Patronus be strong and your dementors be few!

That mom...

I had planned to run a half marathon eight years ago. I was twenty eight, teaching Spanish at a middle school, and running with a science teacher. Then I got pregnant..... seven years later I live in another state with three children-two on the spectrum.  Not to mention I had moved twice in a year and didn't sell the house, blah blah blah life is hard.  Anyway, since Mother's Day, I made serious changes.  Why?  Because I was "that mom."

I didn't want to be "that mom."  The one with two children with I.E.P.s driving the principal crazy.  The one who is never on time, never sends anything in, and is severely overweight.  What did I love before I had kids?  Running- I needed to start running again.  How do you find the time to do something when you are not only a mom, but a work outside the home mom?  The answer is you lose something else. I lost sleep. I woke up early instead of sleeping when the kids sleep.  I still do or I take the two year old in a baby jogger around lunch time.  Sometimes I blog less so I can run more. But something had to give-I wanted it to be my weight.  I have found if I don't run first thing it won't happen because the rest of life goes on during the day. I also need to leave the house.  If I do the treadmill thing the children find me and we all remember the Oprah episode on the dangers of treadmills and babies.  I have enough with strabismus, kidney reflux, and autism.  I don't really need to add plastic surgery to my repertoire.

Here is how it has been since May:

1. Peer pressure can be a good thing. You need to work with other moms your age. You are not twenty two and you don't weigh 90 pounds.  Find moms that have the same goals you do.  Facebook is wonderful for good peer pressure. Every time someone you went to high school or college with "just finished a three mile run," you are motivated to get out and do it too.  Stay away from the Barbies you went to school with. Stay away from the Barbies you know now. Let them peer pressure each other.

2. Find another mom to run with.  She is just as motivated as you are to get some time alone and her old body BACK.  You also have plenty to talk about on a long run. You don't want to run with someone who is going to talk about investment banking and blink at you when you ask about a funky rash you found on your middle child.

3. Sign up for a race.  I remembered my original half marathon goal and decided on the October race in Hartford.  I wanted to prove to myself that you can go back again and that dreams and goals can come true, just not necessarily when you thought that they would.  Six months gave me plenty of time. If you have never run ever, shoot for a 5K.

4. Go slow. Don't worry about speed at this point. If something starts to hurt slow down.

5. Make a play list for when you run alone, and fill it with the cheesiest, ridiculously top 40 music you can think of.   Now is not the time for Bjork. Now is the time to Walk on Sunshine with Katrina and the Waves.

6. Race day-peer pressure again but with the group of people going at your speed, not the people way ahead of you.  I recommend a race because you have something to work towards and you have tons of people cheering as you go.  You don't have anyone cheering while you change diapers. No one cheers for the gluten free snacks you attempted to make and have the kids eat.  Did anyone cheer when you checked out of the grocery store with everything you needed and all three children still in their seats?  What about the day you taught all your classes and then made it to OT, Speech, and then gymnastics?  Applause? NO? Really?  All right then-run on.

The best thing about it is the stuff that used to drive you crazy isn't such a big deal when you run. You not only lose weight but you can handle whatever is going to happen during the day. And you KNOW something is going to happen.

I hope this doesn't mean I am getting used to my Connecticut surroundings. What am I going to do next? Trade my coffee for chai tea?  Don't hold your breath, but then again, I did run a half marathon.