Busy Bee

Birthday, cooking class, half marathon coming, baby crying....gotta go!

Channeling Shirley Maclaine

Last year, I bragged to everyone about my abilities to “Walk away.”  I was and still am very proud of myself when I make choices that Judge Judy would approve of.  Do not get into it with someone crazier than you are.  You will have plenty of opportunities to lose it.  Walk away when you can.

But there are going to be times in your life when you can’t walk away.  You have to face the demon, whatever it is, head on.  There will be a time when you see someone you hoped would never return to your life.  For me it was a co-worker from the worst summer job ever.  Of course this was in an obnoxious “Mommy and Me” class and her little girl was a perfect angel while Frances was running around acting crazy.  I wasn’t about to quit, I had already paid for it and Frances needed it.  So I couldn’t walk away.

What do you do when you can’t walk away?

You channel Shirley MacLaine.

A little on Shirley and me-when I was twelve I remember my parents watching a television movie called “Out on a Limb.” Then I remember when she was on Oprah promoting her inner workout to access your chakra system. It’s almost my birthday, and you know I do something crazy on my birthday, so the chakras are looking cool to me right now.

I took a chakras test online so you know it is accurate.  Apparently my Third Eye is dangerously over active.  That means I live in a fantasy world most of the time and I’m prone to hallucinations.  Damn if I want to give any of that up…..

As I got older, I discovered cinema and movies, and rented old classics such as The Apartment and newer ones such as Terms of Endearment.  I have talked before about how much Debra Winger’s character Emma Horton annoys me.  That doesn’t stop me from crying in the all the right places.

I’m going to link the movie trailer here.  Now everyone take a moment and watch, and then I’ll keep going.  (Pause)

How many people teared up?  Don’t you want to have a daughter right now you can share everything with?  Don’t you want to get together with some girlfriends and have a good cry? Yay Shirley MaClaine!  Yay Debra Winger! Good memories, good emotions, pure love and endearment.

Um, No. For those of you with more to do than follow movie trivia, Debra Winger and Shirley MaClaine hated each other.  They really, really, hated each other.  Rumor has it Debra “tooted” in Shirley’s face. Go back and watch it again with that in mind.

Are they acting or what?  Shirley won the Oscar for that role, and she earned it.

When you see someone you don’t want to, and it will happen, use your Chakras just like Shirley, and keep your eye on that Oscar. 

Breathe, smile, apologize, and pretend you don’t know what is wrong.  Channel Shirley.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone came up to you and said, “Hi, eleven years ago I was a total snot to you….” Like in 12 step programs when you make a list of everyone you have harmed and make amends? 

Or even better, there is this great show called the Marriage Ref.  Different couples complain to a panel of A- list married people who decide who is right in the marriage.  A kick ass spin off would be, “Who’s the Bitch?” Who would be on that panel? Nellie Olsen from Little house on the Prairie, Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and the Step Sisters from Disney’s Cinderella.  They listen to both women involved and then point the finger and say, “You’re the bitch!”  The non-bitch would receive a spa day.  I would totally volunteer to be on the pilot episode and apologize and change my ways if I was the one found guilty of the bitchiness.

Since that isn’t going to happen, channel Shirley.  Smile, be nice, and then get away as fast as you can.  Mean girls are going to pop up in all times and places.  I almost wish I had encountered one in middle school instead of as an adult. At least now I live in another state.

Keep your eye on the Oscar ladies ;0)  And I wouldn't recommend passing gas on someone no matter how much you despise them.

Shirley, I don’t know what you were like in one of your past lives, but you have saved my ass in this one.  Thank you!

One more trip to the rainforest cafe

Last week I posted on the disaster that was our trip to a popular restaurant for children, The Rainforest Cafe. I see no need to put up a link to the post since it is right below this one.  While my sons enjoyed it, my daughter did not. Enough said.

Yesterday while we were cleaning up the playroom, my four year old was staring intently at some of his stuffed animals.  I could see those little wheels turning and was petrified he was going to do something like string all the animals from the ceiling or decide to color them red.  I braced myself to yell at him to once again, stay inside the box.  This is probably horrible to read for some of you, but you try living with him.  That wasn't what happened.

"Mom, Frances shouldn't have cried while we did something fun. Let's make a rainforest cafe at home."  Then he collected different animals that live in a rainforest and put them all over the kitchen.  After that, we made menus for our cafe. THEN-we hit youtube and found some calm rainforest music to play instead of animals going crazy in a storm.

We had dinner and popsicles in our cafe.  He turned to his sister and said, "Don't you love this now?  You shouldn't cry when we do something special, you should love it too."   I'll let the picture speak for itself:

There is always a way to have fun-Enjoy your Labor Day!