The Grocery Store Diaries 5

Dirty looks: At least five today
You’ve got your hands full: Only one
Damage: Kenneth threw a loaf of bread at a man I’m pretty sure was stoned, so no biggie


This time, I had a list. I had taken the time and energy to find not only a pen to write with but a piece of paper to write on. I hadn’t gone so far as to categorize it, but the fact that I had thought it out was a step in the right direction.

My children have become much more aware of their surroundings lately. It isn’t enough just to ride in the cart while mom throws what we need for the week in. They have to look around and add their opinions.
“I don’t want the red yogurt cup, the blue one is better.”
“Don’t get those chicken nuggets, put them back!”
“You know Daddy’s not going to eat that.”

Yes guys, thanks for the ongoing commentary-why did I pay for speech therapy again?

We were doing great with everyone sitting nicely in the cart until I had no choice but to go down the aisle with the toys and birthday cards. That really is a genius idea, if you are in a hurry or forgot you needed to buy a gift, all you have to do is run in the grocery store. This is only a problem when my kids look up and see toys. And it isn’t just made in Bangladesh crap toys. The grocery store is now carrying Disney Princesses. Oh bloody hell….

“Mommy…”
“No! Santa is bringing you the princesses.”
“Mommy…”
“I said no!”
“Well, can I at least go say hi to Snow White?”

And before I can say anything, she is gone and running all the way back to the dolls. Why did I pay for physical therapy again? I have the boys in the stupid race car cart and it isn’t like I can just quickly turn around and grab her without taking out some stacked cans or an old lady or two. When I get to her she sitting on the floor telling Snow White she can’t wait for her to come live with her on December 25th. Ha.

As I am dragging them away from the toys, they see the birthday cards. The problem with that is that the princesses and superheroes are plastered all over those cards, and now my kids have something new to whine about not getting. Does it matter that neither of them are having a birthday at the moment? NO! They just want the cards. Don’t anyone worry, I do not buy birthday cards to get my children to be quiet for said cards to end up on my car floor boards later.

Check out is fine until we are leaving. The cashier notices the baby is sitting on a can of soup and yanks it out from under him. She looks at me like I tried to rob a bank. Now, if I was going to steal, would it be beef broth, or Hershey’s chocolate? Maybe I should have gone with a birthday card for no one in particular.

You tell me…