God laughs at plans-even blog plans. I was planning a "State of the Union of Motherhood" kind of post today and it was going to have people rolling on the floor laughing. As I was working on it-I'm not kidding, the timing was perfect, I got a call from someone to discuss my son's behavior. I don't want to say too much because I don't like to violate anyone's privacy but my own, but he hurt his best friend's feelings and I'm terrified the damage is done. This also means the damage is done between me and this mother-and I considered her one of my best friends in Connecticut. After I hung up with her, I wanted to drop kick him all the way back to North Carolina and be an uber cool "double income no kids" couple again. Actually, I don't think we ever were that couple because we had the kids the minute grad school was over.
Anyway...
I'm sure when she is done reading this, my mom is going to send me an email and rattle off every little thing I ever did to make her look like a fool. Including, but not limited to, the blue dress I wore on May day that was two sizes too small for me and ripped half way around the May pole. There was also the Christmas day I spent in my room for refusing to apologize to my father's sister. (I told her to shut up-and to anyone who knew her, I was a brave little preschooler, wasn't I?) I haven't even gotten into all the damage I did at my house or other people's. I mean come on, so I opened all the Christmas presents at a play date when I was three? Buy gift bags next time...
The other factor is no matter how many adults come and go from someone's life-people turn to mom first. Last summer when my daughter sneaked out the back door there were four adults in the house and all of us thought someone else had her, but when the cops brought her back from a neighbor's house, I was the one they shot daggers at. Ugh....if I had known the police were going to hate me eventually anyway I would have partied harder in high school.
Crap is going to happen no matter how hard you try to keep it going smoothly. Why? Because our kids are humans. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just lug around little cabbage patch dolls that did exactly what we asked? That would wear the clothes we picked out for them? That would say "Yes please" and "Yum, those carrots were delicious, thank you." Every time we served them?
Um, no-where is the fun in that? One of my mottoes for life comes from Woody Allen. Woody says that Comedy = Tragedy + Time. He has no idea how right he is. Time is one thing we definitely have. This is why we parents get our own special days. We need them to recover from the lows that come with it every now and then.
No worries please-I'll save the belly laughs for tomorrow.
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