Reading a LOT!

I have a pile of books I am trying to plow through-I think Lisbeth Salander is up there with Dana Sculley from the X-Files on my list of fake people I wish were real so I could meet them.  Don't worry people-I will be back very soon. Here is hoping that Spain wins the world cup tomorrow. My love for the cup deserves a post. Probably tomorrow night...

Happy 1st birthday to the Quack!

Yesterday was the first anniversary of my blog.  It's hard to believe I have stuck with a hobby for a year.  I tried to scrapbook and I couldn't crop a picture or put cute little stickers, excuse me, embellishments where they belonged.  I tried yoga but I laughed too hard during the names of the poses.  I've never bothered with Bunko or Bridge games either, because once in 5th grade a group of kids conspired to get me out of a round of "Heads Up! Seven Up!" and ever since then I just don't like games at all.  Despite my lack of well rounded hobbies, here I am-still blogging!  That is a wow right there.

My blog came to me while I was driving down New Garden Road in Greensboro, North Carolina.  How bizarre that I was in that location. Who said you can't go home again? Before you start a blog, naming it is everything. I don't think I would read anything called "My Perfect Child."  Don't do it people.

What is the coolest thing that has happened since I started blogging?  Well, it is silly, but I did have a company send me  free bath products after I posted about giving my kids a bath.I still buy the Elmo foam soap; it smells great and it doesn't break them out.  No, the company is not paying me to say that.

The second coolest thing was becoming part of the Autisable group.  Those people really care about autism and while I don't write about it all the time, it is cool when my voice is heard by more people than the ones that come here.  Just don't forget that blogs are not medical counseling.  I'd still ask an expert before I did anything crazy.  I can tell people my daughter really benefited from the Letter Factory DVD, but that doesn't mean every single child will.  I would love to write more about autism, but I have to go to the grocery store, fold laundry, grade papers, read vampire novels, you get the idea.

Where do I find the time?  Where does anyone find the time to do anything they want to do?  You have to set your time.  Unless something ridiculous happens that I have to share, I am a once a week blogger.  I have friends that blog daily and I have friends that write short blogs.  I can't do that.  I tell myself that once a week is fine.  During the summer months it is probably once every ten days as I am not attached to my computer as much as I am during the school year.

One of my goals for the new blogging year is to work on my bells and whistles.  My blog isn't as fancy as other ones.  While I think that my words can hold their own, it is neat to work on all the little things that are possible.  The more I practice, the cooler it will get.  Wait a minute-is blogging cool?  I don't know as I have never been cool in my life.

Before you start a blog, ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?"  My original answer would have been that my Harry Potter essays were never accepted on Mugglenet, so I created my own place to publish whatever I wanted to write.  Showed those kids, didn't I?  I'm not kidding. I need to post more of those essays. My blogging topics have branched out since then. I write about a lot of different things.  Like I said, be careful because no one wants to read a blog called "My perfect child."  Not to mention that a blog about hemorrhoids and your special treatments for them might get some gags and/or laughs. But then again, there might be a group of people out there with serious intestinal problems that need your expertise.  Use your best judgment.

The last thing to say is this: no one else has lived your life. You bring all of it to your blog. You bring it to whatever you do.  So there is no reason why someone who wants to blog shouldn't start.  I could write a post about going to the zoo and so could one hundred other people and they would all be different and worth reading by someone.

The Quack will probably never own a sewing machine or play golf. I don't see myself making jewelry or quilting.  I would like a garden some day and I am getting really good at running. But of all the hobbies I never had, I hope this one stays around.  Aren't you glad I didn't start ceramics?

Summer slow down....

I just got back from the library with a ton of books. My mom comes tonight for a much needed visit.  I registered for an October half marathon, and I am trying different smoothie recipes.  I have plenty to blog about, but no worries if I don't get to it right away.  I'm still here!

Shel Dip 2

Q: Can I really run a half marathon Shel?

A: “Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

Alrighty then-let's see what happens.

Our trip to D.C.

Last weekend we had the opportunity to go with my husband on a business trip to Washington D.C. There are tons of blog posts out there about traveling with kids, so I almost skipped this one. But no two blog posts, trips, or families are ever exactly alike, and anyone who has ever read this blog knows we are one whack job of a family. So I figured I would add it. It wasn't that bad in all honesty. I hope no one is looking for the secret service coming to kick us out, because that didn't happen.

First warning to anyone thinking about taking the kids on a trip when one of the spouses is working: be prepared to do a lot with the kids by yourself. You may be on a vacation and your spouse may have some time to do some of the fun things with you, but they are there for work and they have to work. Accept that before you get in the car or plane to take the trip. Do not guilt them that you dragged kids around alone. There is a time and a place for that, but not when you get a free hotel out of the deal. If you cooperate, you might get more trips later. If you are not adventurous or on the independent side, don't do it. I just wanted to make that disclaimer first and foremost. A work trip is a work trip and if someone goes and doesn't work, well, this isn't the best economy for that. Now onward...

Although my husband was working, I had some wonderful family friends who were free one day and able to meet us at the hotel before tracking out to see the sites. We started the day off right with the metro. My children would have been happy just to ride the train around all day. My son could not get over the fact that we were "underground." Of course we had to assure him no worms or dirt would get inside the train. Two days later we were sitting in traffic trying to get to Air and Space and he piped up, "Daddy, if we had taken the metro..." I love my little Know it all...

This is my formula for a happy day: One museum or monument area, lunch, run around one of the parks, dinner, pool, hotel for bed. You can not expect to cram it all in. We had three days there and this is what we saw: The Wall, Natural History museum, and The Air and Space museum. Each day, one big thing. That was it. That is called not killing yourself. Now no offense, but if you take little kids to D.C., pick little kid things to see. I really don't know how excited they would have been to see the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence as much as it would have thrilled me. Let kids be kids and know that places are obviously going to be there later since they have been there for a while. If it is something you really can't leave a place without seeing, then tag team it on a day spouse isn't working.

Meals-it isn't like my kids are used to perfect home cooking in the first place. But-one thing I struggle with is how they take a few bites and tell me they are done. It drives me crazy. Therefore I didn't really want to pay tourist trap prices for three of them to take a bite and say let's go. I packed a lot of their favorite foods and snacks and that held them for breakfast and lunch. They only ate at actual restaurants three times. The first was a Mexican restaurant where the waitress let them eat rice with milk and chips and salsa. The second was a wonderful family restaurant in Georgetown, complete with crayons and coloring books. The third was at the Air and Space museum-someone had the brilliant idea to put a McDonalds there. Thank you Smithsonian marketing department and big franchise America.

The hotel-that place was wonderful. I'm not going to lie, we did get two complaints about the noise, but it was six o'clock in the evening and we were only up there to get bathing suits. I can tell you how I avoided it other than that. First, keep them out of the hotel. I do not get hung up on a schedule when they are on vacation. Both nights they swam in the pool until closing, and then watched television until they fell asleep in the king sized bed. Do I let them whine and fuss if they aren't happy at bedtime at home? Absolutely. Is that appropriate in a hotel where the anal guests have already complained about pool excitement? No. Even the strictest of the strict parenting books advise against that. So don't do it. I also had them shower at the pool so they wouldn't be playing submarine-torpedo-splash in the bathtub and irritate others then either.

Now for the autism part of it-if you want to call it that. My child hates crowds, but she loves what she loves. If she really wants to see something, she will brave a crowd. The best thing in the new millennium for children like mine is the virtual tour. We went to the museum websites and toured the buildings before we set foot in them. She knew what to expect. She wasn't too thrilled about Air and Space, but told her brother she would do it for him because she knew it meant a lot. That was really sweet. The other snag was asking the hostess at each restaurant to please tell me if they were going to have to sing Happy Birthday to anyone so I could take my child out of the place. I am used to the quizzical looks I get on that one.

Last but not least-the cursed gift shop. One gift shop. One souvenir. Go figure they all chose Air and Space. My daughter picked a beloved stuffed animal for her collection that I thought was cute until I remembered NASA sent the chimps into outer space. We hid it from the PETA booth on the way out....

Want to turn business into family pleasure? It can be done, and hopefully my children will grow up to remember that trip fondly and not write an "I hate my mother and this is why...." poem about the weekend in D.C.

Enjoy your summer-mine started off just right!

I saw Sex and The City 2!

After reading what Rotten Tomatoes has to say, why should I bother telling anyone what I think? The answer is simple: because I have to-I can’t turn my brain off. I also waited until I thought everyone who was going to see the movie saw it before I posted this. I can't not write how I feel about the new movie-it's a girlfriend thing. Let me get the negatives out of the way.

I didn't feel the slapstick comedy of it this go round. What I loved about the thirty minute show was the zany situations they got into that I never could. Now that I live in the north, I know that all four of them made a LOT of money somehow to afford all that they had. Talk about escapism.

No “City”-where was New York? They took a trip to Abu Dhabi. OK fine, it wasn't The Brady Bunch in Hawaii or the Facts of Life Down Under, but still, the title of the show is Sex and The City-which we saw long enough for all of the characters to have their signature meltdowns: Charlotte and her kids, Miranda and her job, Samantha and her age, Carrie and her Mr. Big.

I was really excited about what was going to happen with Aidan. I knew he was coming back and I had all kinds of images in my head about it. Maybe Carrie and Big would run into him with his wife. Maybe they would need a new cabinet and have to order it. But he conveniently just happened to be in the market? Wow I love a good fantasy. I wonder if I kissed an ex, would my husband buy ME a bigger diamond so I would never forget I was married again? I doubt it.

One last criticism. I have studied abroad twice. Both times it was made perfectly clear to me what was and was not acceptable to do in the country. Some of the jokes and situations were pushing it for a Middle Eastern country. There was no way in hell that Carrie's passport was going to be waiting for her in the market where she left it. And Samantha? Well, I'll just leave it with that one word: Samantha.

Now-what I liked. They are best friends. After all these years, the characters are best friends. They dropped what they were doing for each other. If you have ever had good sets of girlfriends in your life, you identify with these scenes. Like after the kiss with Aidan, Carrie rallies all of them together to have a sisterhood type meeting. You know what those are like. I can skype Australia and tweet to a library in Richmond or make an illegal cell phone call driving down a back road in Connecticut to Durham North Carolina if I have to, but I can reach my friends. Females need females to sort out their messes. End of story.

The second part that I liked was the images of motherhood. Although it was over the top, the writers nailed the overwhelming frustration of it. Now, listen up all ladies everywhere. It is very easy to say, "Well, Miranda is a lawyer." or "Charlotte doesn't work and still has a nanny." But, I swear, you CAN’T listen to the “bitter bitches.” Anyone can take someone's sorrow and one up it. Don't do it girl! Any woman has the right to own her feelings.

You know who I am talking about. Let’s use a birthday party as an example. Let’s say you plan a birthday party for your child at one of those gymnastics places. Everything is perfect-and then two kids run into each other and get bloody noses. Then another kid throws up the cake because he doesn’t like the icing. THEN when your child starts opening gifts, instead of smiling and saying “Thank you” he starts making commentary-“I already have two of these.” “This is ugly.” “Didn’t I tell you my favorite color was blue?” So you are about to die and you are telling a group of friends about this later, and one of them rolls her eyes and says “I couldn’t afford to have a birthday party for my child.” Or another one says, “When I was growing up my dad would show up at my parties drunk.” So in other words, they are telling you to get over it because at least you could have a birthday party. Yes, I get that. Believe me I do. BUT- OK yes, those people are right, in the great book of life, we are talking about a party. BUT-you still have the right to grieve for your perfect little birthday party. So, do what Charlotte and Samantha say and “Have a drink.” Don’t drink? Fine-have a cookie, have some loaded cheese fries-whatever but do something bad!!!! Warning: If you are still mad about a birthday party three years later, you don’t have enough to do lady. Volunteer at the food bank or get a part time job.

The scene when Charlotte is trying to make everything perfect and goes and hides in the pantry crying, well, that was pretty accurate. I do not care if she should have had on sweat pants. Yes, she should not have tried to ice red cupcakes in white pants. I don’t care if some of us don’t have a nanny to save us from those outbursts. It was accurate. I’m sure my husband would love a braless cartwheeling nanny-his birthday is coming up.

Yes, it was an atrocious trainwreck as far as film-making is concerned. But I’m glad I went. And you know what? If you were a diehard fan of the show, you will go too. You will go and think about college roommates or your bridge club or those girls you studied abroad with. Or that first group of teachers that you taught with. Or the lunch table you sat at Freshman year of high school. Or your cabin mates from summer camp that one summer everybody bonded. AND THAT is what it is all about. It isn't like you thought you bought a ticket to see The English Patient....

Co-Sleeping = No Sleeping at my house

Co-sleeping, shared sleep, birth control. I don't care what you call it. Kids in your bed. Some of us would rather have bed bugs while some of us can't imagine life without snuggling the cuties while we sleep. You know why? Because when they are asleep, they are NOT whining, fighting, or demanding attention. You can just watch them and think, "ahhhh I love parenthood" before the phone rings and someone else tells you something atrocious one of them did.

We still have a double bed from the grad school years. I can't get rid of it. My friends who seem to prefer to sleep with everyone together have mac daddy king size beds. That is one upgrade I am going to put off a little longer. If the bed were bigger then they would see that as an invitation to join us. Nope.

I have been really slack since March. I have had too much going on during the day to fight what happens at night. The only time I have freaked about it was when I woke up and one of them was in bed with us without me realizing it. How could I possibly have been so tired I didn't notice when another human being not only came into my room but crawled into bed next to me? Motherhood will do it to you. So we were sleeping at night with sometimes three other people in the room with us. Everyone went to sleep in their own room, but made their way into ours. Then I snapped.

About two weeks ago, the older two decided to have an all night party in our room. It was a school night. There was no reason that they would be afraid or anxious and not be able to sleep. I tightened the reins and they are both in their own beds now. If they want to get in with us, the sun needs to be up.

These are the reasons we DON'T co-sleep:

My son sleeps all different ways: his legs are one way and his arms are every which away. He kicks, he squirms. He takes over.

My daughter drags all her stuffed animals into our room and lines them up at the foot of the bed. Like we have an audience. I don't want random animals staring at me while I sleep.

Somebody snores-any of us on any give night. Then everyone wakes up and says there is a monster in the bed. Then they fight over who did it and no one can get back to sleep.

There is the fear someone is going to wet the bed. They don't but they will and it will be our bed and not their own. I wonder, if I was too tired to notice someone climbed in, would I wake up if it was wet or would I dream I was on a tropical island being sprayed by a warm sea mist?

Snacks and crumbs in the bed. We are not a "Breakfast in bed" kind of family. We are a "Eat your breakfast over the sink to avoid crumbs" kind of family.

Enough said.

These were my exceptions: first three months of life-I started to transition to a crib and their own room between three and four months. No one was a colicky baby. No one had any eating issues. No one screamed uncontrollably ever. We were good to go.

Illness is also a reason I would let them sleep with us, except throw up because you can puke in your own bed. Oh-and if one of them brings home head lice they aren't getting in my bed either. (Apologies to childless friends reading this.)

I know there is research. I totally believe in all kinds of research. This is my family list and in no way research. Moreover, my children are older and sneakier. So please, do what works for you as a family and laugh, roll your eyes, or skip my blog if you need to do so. It won't hurt my feelings.


Have fun co-sleeping families. You might rock, but I'm sleeping like one.