I had the same Priest growing up from 1983-1997. He definitely influenced my world view. He had a booming voice and he did a lot of the same things over an over again. He had a sermon on the homeless I heard about three times. He also had one on The Giving Tree I might have heard four. I thought about this about a year ago when I was screaming at my kids to sit down and listen to Shel Silverstein's beautiful book and couldn't they be more grateful I was reading to them? You know, one could argue that the sermons should change, but A) I remember it because I heard it more than once, and B) The Lectionary repeats itself every three years-so why shouldn't a sermon do that too? But what he always did every Advent, was the Children's Advent Wreath Ceremony. I participated in it starting at age eight and it was going strong when I left for college ten years later.
Every week for four weeks we lit the candles on the big wreath in front of the nave, where all of us were sitting, but before you got to the chancel, which led up to the altar. It was definitely on the lectern side and not the Gospel one. True to the wreath there were three purple candles and a pink one for the Shepherds. I never understood why the shepherds preferred pink to purple. Maybe they wanted to be different because they were filled with so much joy? Were they tickled pink with the Angel's glad tidings? I didn't ask him any of those questions, because the questions were ready for us.
Before we went up to big church, we had to practice for the lighting in Sunday school. We practiced the questions we were going to ask him "Why do we light one candle?" "Why do we light two candles?" "Why do we light three candles? "Why do we light four candles?" Making sure we had the questions down was a big deal. It was like he was going to forget to do it if we didn't ask him, or worse he was going to light the wrong amount of candles if we asked the wrong number. If I had been wittier back then I might have asked a different question. I can still hear him answering: "This candle reminds us of hope." If you don't believe me, a copy of the service for your enjoyment can be found here. You can also make this beautiful Advent wreath crafts with your kids here. So what if we never "mixed it up?" I know my Advent candles.
The Moravian tradition is another one that is very special to me. My great-grandmother was Moravian, as is my son's Godmother. They take their Advent wreaths one step further. For them it kind of serves as charm bracelet for the year, and they put little charms and pictures in among the greenery. Let's see, this year's Advent wreath would have a little shoe in it for my half-marathon, small glasses, a plastic snake for the time Kenneth met one at the lake, various super heroes and trains, and a small Pennant or charm from Yale for bringing us here.
If I were a psycho control freak mom, I would make all three of them stand around the dinning room table and act out "Papa Bill's" Advent Ceremony or no one would eat dinner. But fortunately for them, no one told me candles melt in the attic and then re-harden when it gets cold again.
Must go get ready to light the second candle-Joseph and Mary might not make it to Bethlehem without my kids there to ask why we are doing it!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Day 5: Lighting the Advent Wreath
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Day 4: The Tree Lighting Gift
My first Christmas here I was in newborn coma, so we did not go to the tree lighting. The second year was the year of the H1N1 scare, so we didn't go to the tree lighting. This year, Everyone can walk and talk. Last night, we hit the tree lighting.
First, I parked in a friend's driveway so I wouldn't have to drive for an hour looking for a parking spot. Twenty minutes was spent bundling up. I don't think I ever used half of all the winter clothing that exists when I lived in North Carolina. I made sure all three of them had on thick coats, vests, gloves, and hats that actually covered their ears. Once bundled, I walked twice around the car to make sure that we left no trash on their lawn. :0) If we did, sorry Di....
Once we made it to the library, Frances began to get nervous. "It's a crowd Mommy, it's a crowd." She doesn't do crowds and I try to avoid them, but I also try to find ways to help her when she has no choice.
"Frances, we are going straight to our church." I could feel the anxiety leaving her the minute I said a familiar place. We all held hands on the sidewalk and made it to the church where the youth were selling Advent Wreaths and hot chocolate and inside dinner was going. Once she was there, she was able to eat and enjoy the people she was familiar with, and more importantly, they are familiar with her. It worked for her.
But she isn't an only child.
The other two are looking across the street at the center of the green with so much excitement and anticipation. "Mama! Mama! Let's go! Let's go! Santa Claus is there! COME ON!"
But she wouldn't go, "No thanks Mommy." She tries really hard to be polite about the whole thing and not throw a tantrum. So both, yet again, have needs I can't simultaneously meet.
"She can stay with me." Said the other Sunday school teacher I have worked with for two years now (not some random stranger-don't anyone panic).
I took the boys to the green and said "Merry Christmas" and "Happy holidays" to lots of random people I have met over the last two years. Does this make me a Who down in Who-Ville?
I had the baby on my shoulders and the countdown started-he has been in Birth to Three long enough to start counting with his brother. 5....4....3....2......1 and the lights are on the tree!
Everyone clapped and cheered and the boys were laughing. The baby was talking in complete sentences on my shoulders, "Look Mommy! The tree is lit! The tree has colors!"
And Frances, being Frances, had watched from a safe place for her, in the church parking lot, with my friend, and had had just as much fun. It was a cold walk back, but the car was nice and warm.
If I had done this two years ago, the experience would not have been the same. I would not have had a friend's driveway to park in. I would not have known anyone to help me avoid a meltdown. I wouldn't have had anyone to wish anything to. I more than likely would have severely under-dressed all of us and everyone would have been running back to the car before Santa said, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" There would have been no joy in the start of the season. That is what makes a "Community" so special. I am grateful to everyone I have met over the last two years. Thank you Guilford!
And I just found out we need to all come back to the green on June 27th, our family now qualifies for some cool lottery.....Yay!
First, I parked in a friend's driveway so I wouldn't have to drive for an hour looking for a parking spot. Twenty minutes was spent bundling up. I don't think I ever used half of all the winter clothing that exists when I lived in North Carolina. I made sure all three of them had on thick coats, vests, gloves, and hats that actually covered their ears. Once bundled, I walked twice around the car to make sure that we left no trash on their lawn. :0) If we did, sorry Di....
Once we made it to the library, Frances began to get nervous. "It's a crowd Mommy, it's a crowd." She doesn't do crowds and I try to avoid them, but I also try to find ways to help her when she has no choice.
"Frances, we are going straight to our church." I could feel the anxiety leaving her the minute I said a familiar place. We all held hands on the sidewalk and made it to the church where the youth were selling Advent Wreaths and hot chocolate and inside dinner was going. Once she was there, she was able to eat and enjoy the people she was familiar with, and more importantly, they are familiar with her. It worked for her.
But she isn't an only child.
The other two are looking across the street at the center of the green with so much excitement and anticipation. "Mama! Mama! Let's go! Let's go! Santa Claus is there! COME ON!"
But she wouldn't go, "No thanks Mommy." She tries really hard to be polite about the whole thing and not throw a tantrum. So both, yet again, have needs I can't simultaneously meet.
"She can stay with me." Said the other Sunday school teacher I have worked with for two years now (not some random stranger-don't anyone panic).
I took the boys to the green and said "Merry Christmas" and "Happy holidays" to lots of random people I have met over the last two years. Does this make me a Who down in Who-Ville?
I had the baby on my shoulders and the countdown started-he has been in Birth to Three long enough to start counting with his brother. 5....4....3....2......1 and the lights are on the tree!
Everyone clapped and cheered and the boys were laughing. The baby was talking in complete sentences on my shoulders, "Look Mommy! The tree is lit! The tree has colors!"
And Frances, being Frances, had watched from a safe place for her, in the church parking lot, with my friend, and had had just as much fun. It was a cold walk back, but the car was nice and warm.
If I had done this two years ago, the experience would not have been the same. I would not have had a friend's driveway to park in. I would not have known anyone to help me avoid a meltdown. I wouldn't have had anyone to wish anything to. I more than likely would have severely under-dressed all of us and everyone would have been running back to the car before Santa said, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" There would have been no joy in the start of the season. That is what makes a "Community" so special. I am grateful to everyone I have met over the last two years. Thank you Guilford!
And I just found out we need to all come back to the green on June 27th, our family now qualifies for some cool lottery.....Yay!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Day 3: The Second Night of Hanukkah
I am all about diversity. Bring it. In fact, let's start with everyone in the north accepting that this Southern Belle is here to stay! Have you noticed that bloggers find ways to make everything about themselves?
I know that December is a month of lots of holidays. As they talk about all of them, my children come home with many more questions about what they learn at school. Nick Jr. has activities here. Playhouse Disney has all kinds of celebration activities here. The one holiday my older two always want more of is Hanukkah. While they are celebrating diversity, my kids have seemed to have missed that not all the traditions are celebrated by everyone-that's what makes it diverse.
"Mom, why don't we light a menorah?"
"Because we don't."
"But why don't we?"
"It's not our tradition. We are Episcopalian."
"But can't we?"
"Well no, it's not our tradition."
Then I had too much caffeine in my system from my peppermint mocha and was up at night thinking about it.
Well, why can't he if he is interested and I have been told to celebrate diversity? Do we check a book out of the library? Do we buy one on our own? What do I do?
I asked my Jewish friend and running partner about this-hoping she would not be offended that my son wants a menorah. She is the mother of two sons as well, but she has a better handle on it than I do. If they are playing Jedi, all she has to do is tell her boys, "Remember, only the light sabers touch." And they do it. Not surprisingly, she had a handle on this too.
"Page, of course he is curious about something he is learning about at school. Why don't you come for the second night at our house?"
We lived in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood in Pittsburgh for a year. No one rocks out Hanukkah like Squirrel Hill. The Jewish Community Center had a huge menorah outside with lights lit for each night. One afternoon I held my older two and we watched the Hanukkah parade go by on Murray Avenue. Families came as far away as Cranberry to watch it. I will never forget that moment as long as live and I don't think I will ever see that anywhere else. But until last night, I had never lit a menorah.
My children, being my children, make nervous on a normal day. I am always paranoid when we go to someone's house and twice as paranoid on a special day. They most certainly didn't disappoint me.
They were dead quiet during the lighting of the two candles, and one of them started to talk a little during the prayer, but now I can't remember which one it was. After the prayer, my daughter asked if she could make a wish and my son wanted to know who got to blow the candles out. My friend answered them so sweetly by telling them they could always wish for anything and the candles go out on their own after thirty minutes. How does she do it?
They ate their potato latkes while my son kept saying, "I know what those are! I know what those are! I know all of it! These are delicious!" I think I owe her another jar of applesauce.
Then, because they are children, they all ran upstairs to play with the new Hanukkah gift: Wii.
They had a wonderful time-and I feel like they have more knowledge about it than they did the day before. It is one thing to read a book or do it at school, but to go to a special friend's house and be included has never happened to me before-even growing up with my friend Ray Ray down the street-his was the only Bar Mitzvah I ever attended.
As we were leaving Kenneth said to his friend, "Bye! Come to our house the third night!"
You know, a little oil that can burn for eight nights and friends that know how curious children can be are definitely miracles to thank God for!
I know that December is a month of lots of holidays. As they talk about all of them, my children come home with many more questions about what they learn at school. Nick Jr. has activities here. Playhouse Disney has all kinds of celebration activities here. The one holiday my older two always want more of is Hanukkah. While they are celebrating diversity, my kids have seemed to have missed that not all the traditions are celebrated by everyone-that's what makes it diverse.
"Mom, why don't we light a menorah?"
"Because we don't."
"But why don't we?"
"It's not our tradition. We are Episcopalian."
"But can't we?"
"Well no, it's not our tradition."
Then I had too much caffeine in my system from my peppermint mocha and was up at night thinking about it.
Well, why can't he if he is interested and I have been told to celebrate diversity? Do we check a book out of the library? Do we buy one on our own? What do I do?
I asked my Jewish friend and running partner about this-hoping she would not be offended that my son wants a menorah. She is the mother of two sons as well, but she has a better handle on it than I do. If they are playing Jedi, all she has to do is tell her boys, "Remember, only the light sabers touch." And they do it. Not surprisingly, she had a handle on this too.
"Page, of course he is curious about something he is learning about at school. Why don't you come for the second night at our house?"
We lived in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood in Pittsburgh for a year. No one rocks out Hanukkah like Squirrel Hill. The Jewish Community Center had a huge menorah outside with lights lit for each night. One afternoon I held my older two and we watched the Hanukkah parade go by on Murray Avenue. Families came as far away as Cranberry to watch it. I will never forget that moment as long as live and I don't think I will ever see that anywhere else. But until last night, I had never lit a menorah.
My children, being my children, make nervous on a normal day. I am always paranoid when we go to someone's house and twice as paranoid on a special day. They most certainly didn't disappoint me.
They were dead quiet during the lighting of the two candles, and one of them started to talk a little during the prayer, but now I can't remember which one it was. After the prayer, my daughter asked if she could make a wish and my son wanted to know who got to blow the candles out. My friend answered them so sweetly by telling them they could always wish for anything and the candles go out on their own after thirty minutes. How does she do it?
They ate their potato latkes while my son kept saying, "I know what those are! I know what those are! I know all of it! These are delicious!" I think I owe her another jar of applesauce.
Then, because they are children, they all ran upstairs to play with the new Hanukkah gift: Wii.
They had a wonderful time-and I feel like they have more knowledge about it than they did the day before. It is one thing to read a book or do it at school, but to go to a special friend's house and be included has never happened to me before-even growing up with my friend Ray Ray down the street-his was the only Bar Mitzvah I ever attended.
As we were leaving Kenneth said to his friend, "Bye! Come to our house the third night!"
You know, a little oil that can burn for eight nights and friends that know how curious children can be are definitely miracles to thank God for!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Day 2: The Peppermint Mocha Spectrum
I was very anti-Starbucks for a very long time. I wanted my beans to come from a local independent coffee shop. There is a coffee house on Hillsborough Street that I spent a lot of time in during those college and post college years. I can still smell the place and when I go home, a lot of the same customers are sitting in their same seats. My husband always got a drink card, sometimes two, in his stocking for his morning iced King latte.
Then we moved away from Raleigh. While we were anti-Starbucks, we were coffee addicts. Guess what was right near our house? I mean really, guess what is right near anywhere? Actually, there were two of them-one on each end of the block. Starbucks had to become our new favorite. Either that or brew at home.
Starbucks must have a drink formula. I can order a skinny vanilla latte in any Starbucks anywhere and it tastes exactly the same. At other places the quality of the drink depended on anything from who was working the espresso machine to what time of day you ordered your drink.
What I love about Starbucks is that every year they bust out the holiday drinks:
Gingerbread, Eggnog, and my liquid crack: PEPPERMINT MOCHA.
You can smell it when you walk in the shop with its pretty colors and mugs. They play music that must do something to make you want to order a pricey drink. You know the sound of the chocolate pump, the frothing milk, the espresso being packed for the brew-tamping for the baristas out there reading this. Then they give you this chocolate peppermint delight in a beautiful paper cup that is bad for the environment but has a wonderful quote or holiday design and message on it.
I could easily drink three of those divine drinks a day during the holidays. They remind me of dipping peppermint sticks in hot chocolate. Only they are better than candy canes melting away in microwaved Swiss Miss. They are thick and evenly smooth as only a Starbucks employee has been trained to serve you. The problem? They aren't helpful to the twenty-five pounds and counting I have lost since I started running again.
Peppermint Mochas, like other things in my life these days, come on a spectrum.
At one end: You have a tall (12oz) nonfat peppermint mocha without any whipped cream. This is 250 calories, which is still a bit much. At the other end: a VENTI (20oz) whole milk peppermint mocha smothered with whipped cream and little chocolate shavings. Close your eyes if you don't want to know, but it's 520 calories. I can visualize every anorexic I've ever known running out the Starbucks pretty glass door right now screaming she gained half a pound just inhaling the air.
So, what to do other than order one of their herbal teas? Pick and choose off their spectrum! Mess around with your size, your milk, and skip the whipped cream whenever possible. Decide if you want to eat less that day to allow your holiday treat.
My children and I just finished reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory together. One of the best descriptions in the book is Charlie eating his birthday chocolate bar. That is all he gets for his birthday-one chocolate bar. First, he stares at it for a few days and doesn't touch it. THEN he peels back one corner and nibbles on the chocolate bit by bit. He only takes enough chocolate each day to let the flavor cover his tongue. He makes that birthday chocolate last a month. My children have no clue how good they have it sometimes I swear.
I believe in the "Charlie Approach" when you buy the full blown Peppermint Mocha. Go for a ten mile training run, then order the 520 calorie baby. Sip on it all day long-and then eat some carrot sticks for dinner.
The season comes just once a year, right?
Then we moved away from Raleigh. While we were anti-Starbucks, we were coffee addicts. Guess what was right near our house? I mean really, guess what is right near anywhere? Actually, there were two of them-one on each end of the block. Starbucks had to become our new favorite. Either that or brew at home.
Starbucks must have a drink formula. I can order a skinny vanilla latte in any Starbucks anywhere and it tastes exactly the same. At other places the quality of the drink depended on anything from who was working the espresso machine to what time of day you ordered your drink.
What I love about Starbucks is that every year they bust out the holiday drinks:
Gingerbread, Eggnog, and my liquid crack: PEPPERMINT MOCHA.
You can smell it when you walk in the shop with its pretty colors and mugs. They play music that must do something to make you want to order a pricey drink. You know the sound of the chocolate pump, the frothing milk, the espresso being packed for the brew-tamping for the baristas out there reading this. Then they give you this chocolate peppermint delight in a beautiful paper cup that is bad for the environment but has a wonderful quote or holiday design and message on it.
I could easily drink three of those divine drinks a day during the holidays. They remind me of dipping peppermint sticks in hot chocolate. Only they are better than candy canes melting away in microwaved Swiss Miss. They are thick and evenly smooth as only a Starbucks employee has been trained to serve you. The problem? They aren't helpful to the twenty-five pounds and counting I have lost since I started running again.
Peppermint Mochas, like other things in my life these days, come on a spectrum.
At one end: You have a tall (12oz) nonfat peppermint mocha without any whipped cream. This is 250 calories, which is still a bit much. At the other end: a VENTI (20oz) whole milk peppermint mocha smothered with whipped cream and little chocolate shavings. Close your eyes if you don't want to know, but it's 520 calories. I can visualize every anorexic I've ever known running out the Starbucks pretty glass door right now screaming she gained half a pound just inhaling the air.
So, what to do other than order one of their herbal teas? Pick and choose off their spectrum! Mess around with your size, your milk, and skip the whipped cream whenever possible. Decide if you want to eat less that day to allow your holiday treat.
My children and I just finished reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory together. One of the best descriptions in the book is Charlie eating his birthday chocolate bar. That is all he gets for his birthday-one chocolate bar. First, he stares at it for a few days and doesn't touch it. THEN he peels back one corner and nibbles on the chocolate bit by bit. He only takes enough chocolate each day to let the flavor cover his tongue. He makes that birthday chocolate last a month. My children have no clue how good they have it sometimes I swear.
I believe in the "Charlie Approach" when you buy the full blown Peppermint Mocha. Go for a ten mile training run, then order the 520 calorie baby. Sip on it all day long-and then eat some carrot sticks for dinner.
The season comes just once a year, right?
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Day 1: The Advent Calendar
Advent is my favorite liturgical season. Epiphany? Well, moms of little kids can't think hard enough to have one. Lent is painful and sad-as it should be. Pentecost is my second favorite as I speak three languages. Ordinary time? Ordinary time? Honestly-what the hell is that? Therefore, Advent belongs to me!
I said it last year, Advent is the time of year when we wait for a miracle to come save us. I am always in need of a miracle. Save me from my lack of organization. Save me from the inability to keep my mouth shut. Save me from struggling with a daughter I have spent the last five years working on-and now she doesn't need me quite as much as she did. That's what I wanted, right?
Advent is the four Sundays before Christmas. The Advent calendars I have seen start on December first and go through the 25th. I love this time of year so much I had a "Christmas in July" wedding shower where everyone brought gifts for the holiday season. The Christmas Frances was one I bought a cute little calendar at Hallmark and we opened a window every morning to read the story of Luke. I'm sure it was more for me than her. Some of those calendars come with a little chocolate inside, but I would be way too afraid I would just eat all twenty five on the first morning. Either that or with three kids, who gets the chocolate each day? I'm not organized enough to keep up with who ate the day before. So no chocolate calendars here.
Advent is happy waiting-literally, like a child on Christmas Eve. It's active waiting. Not the solemn suffering reflecting of Lent. This is why December nearly kills us with the parties, the parades, the cookie baking, the card opening, and the shopping. We are keeping busy for the big event.
Mr. Rogers used to sing a song called, "Let's think of something to do while we're waiting." I loved that song and TRY to use it with my kids. The most important line to me is to find "Something to do that's specific to you." Everyone has a special way to wait.
What am I going to do while I'm waiting? What's specific to me? I'm going to blog while I wait-25 days of Advent Quacks. Last year I joked that there should be a "Page a page a day" calendar. Now there kind of is!
I hope you enjoy it! And if you don't mind-spread the word. If I'm going to make this commitment I want readers.
I said it last year, Advent is the time of year when we wait for a miracle to come save us. I am always in need of a miracle. Save me from my lack of organization. Save me from the inability to keep my mouth shut. Save me from struggling with a daughter I have spent the last five years working on-and now she doesn't need me quite as much as she did. That's what I wanted, right?
Advent is the four Sundays before Christmas. The Advent calendars I have seen start on December first and go through the 25th. I love this time of year so much I had a "Christmas in July" wedding shower where everyone brought gifts for the holiday season. The Christmas Frances was one I bought a cute little calendar at Hallmark and we opened a window every morning to read the story of Luke. I'm sure it was more for me than her. Some of those calendars come with a little chocolate inside, but I would be way too afraid I would just eat all twenty five on the first morning. Either that or with three kids, who gets the chocolate each day? I'm not organized enough to keep up with who ate the day before. So no chocolate calendars here.
Advent is happy waiting-literally, like a child on Christmas Eve. It's active waiting. Not the solemn suffering reflecting of Lent. This is why December nearly kills us with the parties, the parades, the cookie baking, the card opening, and the shopping. We are keeping busy for the big event.
Mr. Rogers used to sing a song called, "Let's think of something to do while we're waiting." I loved that song and TRY to use it with my kids. The most important line to me is to find "Something to do that's specific to you." Everyone has a special way to wait.
What am I going to do while I'm waiting? What's specific to me? I'm going to blog while I wait-25 days of Advent Quacks. Last year I joked that there should be a "Page a page a day" calendar. Now there kind of is!
I hope you enjoy it! And if you don't mind-spread the word. If I'm going to make this commitment I want readers.
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Christmas Tree
I wrote this for Share Our Voices. Enjoy!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Something I forgot to say
It seemed like throughout the whole movie, Daniel Radcliffe always ended up in his boxers. Well, those of us that saw Equus, no big deal.....
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