Day 14: The Top Five Best Gifts

The top 5 best gifts!  I have put these in categories.  I wish I could remember more.  I’m thinking about it.  Let me just say that it is perfectly fine to buy off lists, or ask people what they want. It is fine for families to keep it simple and draw names.  I still think gift cards are great, these lists are just if you want to mix it up! All in Advent fun!

Personal triumphs of things I gave to other people:

1. My cousin is a big music person. Once at Barnes and Noble in the clearance bin, I found a marked down book of musicians talking about their favorites songs.  He didn't put it down all Christmas Eve and he ignored a lot of other expensive gifts!
2. I had a girlfriend paint a picture of my children for my husband. She loves that one of her paintings is hanging in a professor's office.
3. I bought my brother-in-law a dart board.  My sister said he played with it for two hours. 
4. I'm going to count this-any time you give someone a Far Side book, they are going to laugh!
5. My grandparents-I don’t know jack about sports, but they are Atlanta Braves fans and they sure did love that model of Turner Field.

Generics that are good to give-trust me nobody wants bird thermometers or singing fish:

1. If you are going to give the hand soaps, I vote for the kitchen ones. Then everyone in the house can wash their hands with it.
2. I love those baskets you can buy at Walmart or Target, my favorite ones have been the pancake mixes, hot teas, and movie nights. You can always get creative and make your own baskets.  Again, think about who you are buying for.  Non-violent, quiet people aren't going to want the Quentin Tarrantino collection. Now I'm inspired!
3. Puzzles are OK, but board games are better for family games!
4. Pot holders, towels, and mugs will always be used.
5. If they collect anything, they will love a magnet of it-assuming the fridge is magnetized. 

The best gifts I ever personally received:

1. A loom so I could make my own pot holders and table runners.
2. Barbie's town house with a pulley elevator.
3. A trip to Disneyworld (brochure in my stocking).
4. A crystal necklace of positive energy. 
5. My husband-he came to visit me in Barcelona before we were engaged!

 Enjoy your last minute shopping-although only the quacks like me are still out there doing it.  The good little mommies are all wrapping it up!

Day 13: Gift mistakes I have made

Sure, sure it is the thought that counts.  It is better to give than receive.  It is all in the spirit of the holiday season.

Um, OK.  If you say so.

We can't all be Oprah and give that perfect gift every single time.  Sometimes we really don't want to pass out cash or gift cards. We want people to open something on Christmas day.  We want them to see it from time to time and think, "Hey-Billy Joe gave me that two Christmases ago."  And they can say that about something perfect, or something that was a complete flop.

Here is a list of things to think about when buying gifts, and I have made these mistakes.  I don't bash anyone but myself:

1. If you are buying kids markers, make sure they are washable. 
2. If you are buying a big toy that makes noise or lights up, check to see if the batteries are included.
3. An anorexic vegetarian isn't going to appreciate McDonald's giftcards.
4. Little girls love makeup, but they smear it all over everything-from their clothes to a Barbie doll's hair.
5. Some people are allergic to peanuts. Ditto on alcoholics and wine, or diabetics and chocolate.
6. People that live in the south don't need heavy sweaters.
7. People that live in the north don't need flip flops
8. Toys that make lots of noise aren't going to be appreciated by the Mom and Dad.
9. Mini tool kits can be used by smart kids to unscrew every screw in the house they can reach.
10. Children aren't as excited about clothes as Mom and Dad are-that doesn't mean it's a bad idea, just don't be put out if the kids don't jump up and down.
11. Christmas decorations are best given before Christmas.
12. If you are going to buy a "gag" gift, make sure the person can take a joke.
13. Don't buy a Steelers jersey for an Eagles fan because, "Pennsylvania is Pennsylvania." 
14. If you buy a bunch of things and keep them in a closet, keep track of who you give what to, so you don't give someone the same coffee mug five years in a row.

Tomorrow, I'll give you a list of my successes!  

Day 12-My favorite visit

I had it in my head that I would be a little deeper on Sundays.  I am sure some people read this blog and roll their eyes that I am calling this 25 days of Advent but I haven't really mentioned the birth of Jesus or any of the Christmas story yet.  Well, here it comes.

Today has been a crazy rainy day.  After church and lunch, we decided we would go see Santa.  Two people were all about this.  One little girl said she would just write him a letter.  She also said why go visit Santa when he sends an elf?  She had a point, but my only answer was, "Your brothers want to go, you can stay with Daddy."

We got to the mall, and the line was ridiculously long.  I mean really, really long.  I talked my son into waiting to go with his grandparents.  Frances then proceeds to do the "Happy Dance" that we are leaving the crowded mall early.  Kenneth does not burst into tears, but might if Grandpa has zero interest in taking him later.

This is the story of my mother life.  Frances didn't talk until she was four, and the first week Kenneth was in daycare his caregiver told me "that baby coos all day."  She walked at twenty months with a lot of therapy.  He took off at nine.  OK, I'm sure everybody is thinking, Where is she going with this? 

My favorite part of the Nativity story from Luke is Mary and Elizabeth's visit.  I went to a pageant either in Cary, North Carolina or Houston, Texas as Elizabeth, John the Baptist's mom.  What do I love about it? Two pregnant cousins!  Think about all your friends you have been pregnant with-when I was pregnant with Frances, so were eight other women in my life.  I can see those really important biblical women "High fiving" each other.  Elizabeth because it finally happened and Mary because she was chosen for something pretty freaking marvelous.  I mean no disrespect, but there were no magazines, support groups, or mommy blog networks.  Mary traveled to her cousin's house and stayed for three months.  I can hear them telling each other: "I'm pregnant!" "I'm pregnant too!"  Wooo whoo!!!  I remember when each of my closest friends and my sister told me they were pregnant.  I love Luke 1:39-56 so much!

And the best part was Zechariah couldn't talk.  Two pregnant women in his house and Gabriel had banned him from speaking.  That left the women wide open: "Hey! Zek-bring us some dates and figs!" Wow.

The other thing I have been thinking about today brings me back to the shopping mall and a line I wasn't going to wait in with two little boys.  I often wonder why my kids are so different and why I have to raise both of them and how am I going to do that exactly?  The third one hasn't even really kicked in yet.  The answer I keep hearing over and over again: we can't hide from the plan. I was chosen to have one that hides in the corner and one that dances on the tabletop for a reason.  And it will unfold as it should. Mary and Elizabeth accepted this.  If they can, I think we all can.

Although sometimes I'm sure my husband would love an angel to ban me from speaking.....

Day 11: The Christmas Card

Christmas cards have been a hot debate among me and my friends lately.  Do we send them out the "right" way?  Do we email them out to some people?  Do we just post them on the social sites for all to look if they want to? Before the internet, those cards and letters were really important.  That is how you kept up with everyone in your life. Once a year-you found out who did what and saw how big the kids were.  You waited for the mail to come with a lot of excitement.  Who would it be today?  The girl you taught with the first year teaching that left education to be in advertising?  Your roommate from Spain that lives in D.C. ?   The girls you went to summer camp with that now live in California?  Advent wasn't just about the waiting, it was about the "catching up."

For example, one of my  mom's best friends growing up sent one every year.  They lived in Charlotte and her daughter "Cathy" was my age.  I never met her, not once. I only saw her picture and read a letter about her once a year.  UNTIL I went to college, and what a coincidence-Cathy was in my dorm room, helping her best friend, my roommate, unpack!  How cool was that?  Can that happen nowadays?  Sure.  Will it happen as often and with the same impact?  Probably not because someone would put on a status update, "Going to help friend unpack," and someone else will read it, and pass it on, and so it will go.

What to do with all the cards you get before you chuck them?  My grandmother has this cool thing in her house where she put them all around the doorways.  She would also glue them into scrapbooks for each year.  I did do that with all my wedding notes and cards and I do love getting that out and skimming it. But alas, I haven't done it with the Christmas cards.

If you need ideas for home therapy you can use the cards for this:

Speech:

 Ask your kids questions about the card.   Keep them talking.  For your non-verbal child, give them one word choices.  For your big mouth, go over the top with the "What ifs?"

Here is a list of possibilities, some are secular and some are religious, just keep talking:

What is in the picture?  What color is the tree? Where is the star?  Where is the baby? Is he asleep or awake? Where is his mommy?  How many kings are there? Can you find the nose on the snowman? Is it a tomato or a carrot? Is it cold or hot?
 
Another thing you can do is mix up all the cards and spread them on the table. Have a scavenger hunt. "Who can bring me a card with Santa Claus on it?  And they scramble to find it.

OT:

 You can cut out pictures from the cards and make collages.  You can also put them together and tell stories. Once I punched holes around a card and they practiced lacing with yarn.


This of course all takes place in January.

As for my own card habits, I have not put together a Christmas card since I became a mother of three and moved around the country twice.

My best two cards before I left the south:

My daughter at thirteen months and our dog Jeremy.  She had on Santa Claus pajamas and he had a big red bow on.  Everyone all over got a kick out of that.

My older two on the chick fila Santa cow. Neither of them would go near the actual Santa, but boy how they loved that cow. He was in a Santa suit, so there you go!

This blog is my card, it is my Christmas project.  I am going to print it out for my grandmother and a couple of other friends that never turn computers on.   Enjoy it as there will be no card in your mailbox with my horrible handwriting on it.  :0)

Now, without further ado, my Christmas card picture:

We hope your holidays are "Super!"

Keep sending the cards, or posting them on your pages, or emailing them out.  However you "Catch up," I love it!

Day 10: A Nutcracker Stream of Conciousness

December 24, 1979
Cary, North Carolina

I'm five years old on Christmas Eve and staying up to watch the Nutcracker.  It will be on PBS the same channel I watch Sesame Street and the Electric Company.  A girl with long hair in a nightgown is staring at a gorgeous Christmas tree with her brother.  Lightening booms and lights on the stage flash.  A scary man appears in the doorway.  He gives away toys.  Clara, my mom says her name is Clara.  She is given a wooden nutcracker, it doesn't look like the silver one my grandparents use to crack walnuts and Brazil nuts. Of course her little brother breaks the jaw. Clara, puts the nutcracker in a doll bed and leaves for the night.

She sneaks out of bed to check on the wooden nutcracker. The clock strikes twelve and the scary man is in the shadows.  The tree grows, the lights flash, the nutcracker comes to life and is joined by all these soldiers and mice. Where did the mice come from and why is everyone fighting?  Clara throws her shoe, I'm going to throw one at my brother.  The mouse king goes down.  The Nutcracker is a prince-will one of my Ken dolls come to life?  They walk into the snow and she doesn't seem to wonder why her doll is now a prince and should she really go with him anywhere.

After popcorn and coke because I'm allowed to drink coke, Clara and the Nutcracker Prince ride a boat to a castle. The Sugar Plum fairy is in charge and so excited to have the Prince back.  Clara is honored with dances.  Lots of dances. The dance of the Sugar Plum fairy is very mellow-like the soft drink.  One is of the same music for the dancing mushrooms in Fantasia-that moves quickly.  And a woman has a ton of children under her skirt-will I have that many children one day?  I don't want any.

Clara leaves-wakes up to the scary man and the nutcracker in the bed.

Back to now:

Thirty-one years later I still remember watching that on PBS with my mom-exactly as I wrote it down. At his school, my son is having lessons on "Tchaikovsky."  He loves to play war between The Mouse King and The Nutcracker with the help of his movement teacher who told him "You can't talk during a ballet."  To which he replied, "Then my mom can't handle it."

In life it is harder to make true friends as an adult.  I think friendships like that taper off after the college years.  With old friends you can say, "I have to drive on the highway..." and they cringe because they know a full blown panic attack is on the way. With new friends, they blink at you.  My son's movement teacher is a true adult friend and she never blinks at me.  Ironically, I became close with her after I had a car accident a week after I moved here. She picked my son up for school until the Pilot was fixed.

How are these things connected?

She is directing the Nutcracker for the New Haven ballet and it opens tonight.  She stepped up for this under sad circumstances, when the boss she loved lost his life to cancer.  It will be phenomenal!

Break a leg this weekend my dear- and when it is all over, we will have a spa day!  How about a Sugar Plum hydrating treatment?

Day 9: The Elf on the Shelf

Last year, my mother gave my children The Elf on the Shelf.  Your first thought when you open the box, read the story, and get the idea is:  who is going to fall for that? Your second thought is "Great, one more thing that the kids who don't celebrate Christmas are going to have to put up with."  But I have to tell you, and I'm not alone in this, Santa Claus having a little "Nanny cam" is a really good idea and once again why didn't I think of it?!

For those who don't know:
When the elf arrives, you read the book with the kids.  This sets the rules and names the elf. Then every day during Advent, or whenever in November/December you start, the kids look for the elf and know they are being watched.  The elf goes back to the North Pole and tells Santa everything it saw and the next morning the kids have to see where it is hiding again.  The elf has been warned by Santa not to speak to the children, only watch and listen. AND if the children touch the elf, his/her magic is gone for the year.

The elf assigned to us has had quite a life so far.  I'm sure the other elves listen to her stories and think, "Good Lord, Santa screwed you!"   I hope she spends the rest of the year on a beach sipping a margarita and reading Twilight novels.

Yes, we have a girl elf.  She came with a skirt.  We named her "Tatty Tale." "Tatty" goes and tattles to Santa what she saw during the day. I have heard my children debating whether or not something is worth doing according to what Santa will find out.  I have also seen my daughter stamp her foot and shake her fist at the elf and say, "DON'T YOU DARE TELL SANTA!"  I have heard my son rattle off all kinds of requests for things there is no way he is going to get.  Instead of complaining to me, they run find the elf and tell her all the atrocities committed by a sibling. Yay!

It gets harder and harder to be creative about where she is hiding.  I have put her in the bathroom to make sure they are washing their hands and brushing their teeth.  I put her in a tea pot to try and trick them. I put her on top of the oven and my son freaked and told me not to cook anything (Gosh darn on that one).  I tried to put her on the curtain rod and she hung upside down and couldn't see anything, so she didn't hide there again.

The elf comes with a LOT of "Ifs."

If you forget to move the elf?  Ask your kids this, "Now why would she want to hide in the same spot twice? What did she see yesterday?"  You will get a confession-"I took two cookies instead of one." or "I pushed my brother instead of using my words."  It's brilliant!

If you are in a book store or another place and see one for sale?  Use your Harry Potter smarts.  Santa has told the elves to act like toys.  How else are they going to get to us?  The magic is activated when you read the story and name the elf.

If the kids are having a really bad day or week? (Or year, but anyway....) Take the skirt off the elf and hide it. THEN tell them Tatty's report  to Santa was SO bad, he sent "BUTCH"  to check things out.  Kenneth swears "Butch" is bigger, but it is the same elf. Ha ha ha...

If the baby actually gets a hold of the elf and starts running around the house with it, tell the older two Santa will re-activate the magic because toddlers don't know better and next time Tatty will pick a better hiding spot. Mommy can put her up high with a towel or tongs.

AND Finally.....

IF in August all hell is breaking loose because summer is coming to a close and school hasn't started, Tatty can always do a "Check in."

Anyone else having fun with an elf?

Day 8: Oysters

Everyone knows what is going to be on the table at a family member's house. Friends had a Thanksgiving episode every season that it aired and it usually centered around Monica's kitchen and what everyone looked forward to eating.  Anyone who celebrates anything has one thing they look forward to eating. For me, it was the scalloped oysters.

My first oyster memory is being four years old and going to the state fair in North Carolina with my grandparents and two younger aunts.  I'm sure the boy who grew up to be my uncle tagged along.  There was a booth with a tank full of oysters in it.  My grandmother picked one out with tongs and the man pried it open.  Then they squeezed and squeezed until two pearls came out of the gunk that I now know is the delicious edible part.   My grandmother still has the necklace with those two pearls plus some gold beads that she added.  Too bad we didn't get to eat it.

I loved the scalloped oysters every Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Why am I speaking in the past tense?  Easy! "Scalloped"  doesn't just apply to the oysters.  "Scalloped" means butter, heavy cream, and cheese.  All the FAT of the holidays is in that one delectable dish.  It also explains what happens to your body after you eat them.  Your butt gets scalloped, your tummy scalloped, your arms and cheeks look just as scalloped and puffy as the dish.  DO you really need that?

Here is the recipe:

1 cup bread crumbs
1 cup butter, melted
1 quart oysters, drained, reserving 8 tablespoons of liquid
4 cups heavy cream
2 cups saltine crackers, crushed

Preheat the oven to 450.  Mix bread crumbs and butter and sprinkle in a buttered shallow dish.  Place half the oysters over the bread crumbs. Season with salt and pepper. Sprinkle oysters with half of the oyster liquid and half of the heavy cream. Repeat with one more layer.  THEN top it with the crushed saltines and bake for 30 minutes.

I am desperately searching for a low fat alternative, but like I said on peppermint mocha day, it is the holiday season and if you run for an hour I'm sure your butt will avoid some scalloping.  It is also about portion control.  One little spoonful won't send you to the bathroom with your finger down your throat, I hope.

I think on my next date night out my husband and I will go to a seafood place and order an appetizer of oysters on the half shell. Ten calories each-no heavy cream.

I can't wait to read Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There with the kids-the poor little oysters didn't see the Walrus and the Carpenter coming!  Yum.....