Lowell's Baptism Reflection

(Note about this note: I am not here to debate infant baptism etc. etc.-read it for the fun of it or don't)

Again, another note on how the third child gets screwed. His clothes are his brother’s. His crib is in the office until the boys are both sleeping well enough to share a room and I am seriously beginning to think that this won’t happen until they are ready for college. Lately he has taken to chewing on Tupperware containers instead of the cute little teethers that his siblings had. Finally, he wasn’t able to wear the family Christening gown. I never found a church I was happy with in Pittsburgh and B.J. agreed to do it during Advent while I was home. That meant waiting until Lowell was five months old, so no newborn gown for him. My aunt loaned me a suit my grandmother made, so he did get baptized in something special, just not the family gown.

The horror of not being baptized in a Christening gown! This got me thinking about the service in general. To say that the service hasn’t changed much in the last few years is a bit of an understatement, since I have that service and probably the rest of the Book of Common Prayer memorized. You would think that when something is called “common” so that everyone participates, the third child would get it as equally as the first. No, I found a way to have this be different too.

Here it goes:

“I present Lowell Franklin to receive the sacrament of baptism.” I had to think about who I was presenting. Was it Frances for another speech or OT evaluation, or was Kenneth getting his hearing tested? And which sacrament was it? It seems like I anoint the sick every few weeks.

“Will you by your prayers and witness help this child to grow into the full stature of Christ?” Of course he will witness me being an excellent example of an Episcopalian. “Get in the car! We are late for church! Stop pinching and pay attention to the homily! Ugh-is it your turn to acolyte again? Man, we have to get up extra early, better skip SNL this week."

“Do you renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces of wickedness that rebel against God?” Well, this isn’t too difficult to answer. Of course I renounce wickedness! Who is going to say, “No, bring it on, please?” What else should I renounce? What counts as wicked? Too much television? Microwaved meals? French fries as a vegetable? Not making my own baby food? Using disposable instead of cloth diapers? Letting him play with germy car keys to keep him quiet in the grocery store? I am not renouncing anything that saves my sanity.

“Do you renounce all sinful desires that draw you from the love of God?” Do I have any desires anymore other than to make sure that these three grow up to be normal tax paying citizens and not serial killers? (Maybe I shouldn’t joke about the last part.)

“Do you turn to Jesus Christ and accept him as your Savior?” Yes, absolutely. This is the only time you are asked this question in any Episcopal church. Some denominations have you sing it, dance it, raise your hands up high and scream it out loud. But we ask you one time and if you say yes, we believe you and go about our merry way. I guess they assumed you told the truth the first time.

I have been an Episcopalian my entire life, except on Christmas Eve when I become a Moravian for the night. My husband kind of grew up Baptist, but only went to Sunday school. When I tried to explain an infant christening to him for Frances, he made a face and said, “You mean like in the Godfather?” Yes, that was it. Only my thoughts were a little different from the ones Al Pacino was having as he renewed his baptismal covenant. It really is applicable to any change in your life: contemplating motherhood as it pertains to having three children, knocking off the (4 or 5?) heads of the competing mafia families and becoming the new Don Corleone-same difference. See how common prayer actually is? Everyone participates!

And about the priest who baptized my son today, I have known him since I was what, nine? I am not telling any stories, because I would die if he told one on me, but thoughts did go through my head as he anointed my son with oil. Ok, I’ll share just one, “B.J. used to jump up and down on tables Time Warping from the Rocky Horror Picture Show and he just sealed Lowell as Christ’s own forever?” There is a circle of life.

Even before the Facebook boom, I couldn’t seem to ever shake my Episcopalian friends. They never leave you, ever. In some ways they are worse than the old college roommates. I think I could get swallowed by a “great fish” and they would find me some how. So I should embrace them, and I do, usually.

This is what I was thinking about as my third and last child was baptized Sunday and we welcomed him into the Episcopal faith. Maybe I should think less, and focus more. Then I won’t worry about leaving him at the Remington Grill. Again, poor third child, at least he’s ready for his spiritual journey to begin.