A Traffic Lesson

Who remembers the 2000 movie Traffic? It starred Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones, and Benicio del Toro. It was a great movie! But damn was I judgmental in my 20s. I remember thinking that Michael Douglas’ character was an idiot. The Drug Czar didn’t know his daughter had a drug problem? Yeah right, like that would happen in real life.

The Gods remembered me saying that. They saved it for later. They brought it back to me like a kick in the ass with full force.

The baby has been in an infant sibling study since he was four months old. He has hit every mile stone right on time, if not earlier. He has a good sixty plus words. He can run and he can feed himself. He laughs and plays with his siblings. If they are coloring, he is coloring. If they are running and kicking a soccer ball, so is he. I assumed everything was fine and that we were doing our part to help science.

He had the eighteen month visit in the name of scientific research last week. My husband didn’t bother to go-we didn’t think it was necessary for us both to be there. They called me in for the results and I was still clueless. They told me immediately he didn’t know his name. I nodded like this was nothing.

Of course he doesn’t know it. We call him “Baby, munchkin, little man, etc.” He’s the third child, what they call in family therapy “the mascot.” He is lucky he gets called anything. Then they looked at me and said, “No, he never looks at anyone even if you call him or give him a request, have you noticed?” Um, did Michael notice while he was fighting Mexico that his private school daughter was passed out at a crack house? I guess I didn't notice. But since these people are bringing it up, this must mean.....

No. No. No. Dear God, I’m still asleep, or my husband’s lab is going to jump out from behind the door and tell me I’m being Punk’d……

“We want you to start Birth to Three early intervention with him now. Don’t wait, and because of his sister, he gets moved to the top of the list. Call this afternoon.”

Alrighty then-two on the spectrum (possibly).

Fine, whatever. I am a good mom. If he were gay, I’d join PFLAG. If he were an alcoholic, I’d go to Alanon. I’m blessed, it will all work out fine. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, now let’s go home and make “Team Lowell” t-shirts.

I imploded in the parking lot. (Grandaddy-skip this part and please don't read it out loud to Grandmother)

F*&%% THIS SH*&%!!!!!!

I am not going to lie to you guys, I was very angry. I went back and forth between being mad I put him in the study and grateful to have the study. I could finally imagine how the Greeks felt about the Gods messing with their lives. Who had I made mad? It couldn’t have been Aphrodite-I’m not that pretty. Perhaps Athena the warrior? Had I fought back too hard? I wasn’t worth Zeus’s time-I assume he plays with wars and elections. Which one was the one who talked too much? Hermes? He must have been angry I talked more than he did and wanted to blast me with something unexpected. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

That afternoon I went home and taught my classes. I didn’t take my older son to his preschool because the last group of people I wanted to see was those women with perfect children. My best friend up here is a personal trainer, and she begged me to go work out. I downed a bag of Oreos. I also started treating my son like a ticking time bomb instead of the fun little mascot that he is.

A few days went by, and I have reflected on it. I can handle just about anything. One could argue that I don’t deserve anything else bad to happen to me, ever again. That isn’t the way life works. This go round, I’m better prepared. Lowell is his own person and I am giving him a jump start that his older sister didn’t have. We will see what happens. Boy, is this going to be fun to watch or what? Now I have a unisex puzzle piece!

What is the real lesson? Don’t judge Michael Douglas movies, be it Traffic or Fatal Attraction…..