Happy Halloween!

I had every intention and my husband's permission to write a tribute to Glee and Rocky Horror and the time I got dumped by a conservative Republican after going to a midnight show. It was going to be so funny I was hoping someone would drop their laptop.  But my children have hijacked me again, like they tend to do....it started with a transformer who calls himself Bumblebee.  Before I begin, why is a big bad robot thingy called Bumblebee and not Stag Beetle or even Cockroach?  Yellow Jacket or even Hornet gives me a bolder image.  I'm so lazy sometimes I can't even google the big important questions.

I tried to be organized this Halloween season and hit the Halloween store October 1st.  My daughter picked out a fairy and my son the yellow transformer.  All was well with the world and I could pat myself on the back that I had the task down, even if I wasn't super mom with creative homemade costumes-skip over to Crying Daddy for that, his wife is a dynamo (has to be to live with that man....).

What I forgot was that Halloween is one day, October 31st.  Halloween costumes are made to be worn one day, October 31st.  My child wanted to be Bumblebee Cockroach from October 1st-October 29th.  On the 29th I realized he was running around the playroom with the thing falling apart and the mask was cracked everywhere.  Grrrrrr

At first I told him to dig around in the dress up box until he found something suitable.  But he hit me hard below the belt.  He played the one card that my three biological children and every student I have ever taught since 1998 knows they can play.

"Mom-I would love nothing more than to be a Harry Potter with you."

The Halloween Express store is not the place you want to be on October 30th.

It was packed and it reminded me of a Christmas tree lot full of Charlie Brown pine needles and there wasn't a blanky in the world that was going to cut it.  We found a clerk who pointed us in the Harry Potter direction, but only the accessories were left:  Scarves, wands, and glasses.  No robes.

Fortunately for Kenneth, he didn't have some semi-knowledge Harry Potter Mama.  His mama went into labor with him during Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and finished the movie.  Before he even shed one tear, I told him he could be "Summer Holiday Harry" and wear one of his father's ratty sweaters so it looked like he had a Dudley hand me down on.  This idea was wonderful for my child who while trick or treating today told any adult that would listen, "I'm wearing this sweater because the Dursleys are jerks."  Thanks baby.  You made me proud.

I suppose everyone thinks it was easy to just grab glasses, scarves, and a wand and get out of there. But no, nothing is ever easy, even when the baby is in the car with Daddy.  Kenneth looked at the wands and said,
"I'm supposed to try each one right?  One is supposed to match me, right?"  I had to explain that they were toys for Halloween.  He looked shocked but went with it.

Then at check out, the guy looked like he was working to support his habit if you know what I mean, but Kenneth has to bust out with "Now, you are sure this has a phoenix feather inside, correct?"   I am floored by his knowledge but can't help but realize people are looking at me like I'm a loony toon.

He took it out of the box after we left the store and took it to eat lunch.  This is when I scared myself a little with my Harry Potter knowledge.  Kenneth was flicking his wand and asking me questions.

"Hey Mom! How do I open the door?"
"Alohomora!"


"Mom, how do I put the light out?"
"Nox"



"It's too loud-how do we get it quiet?"
"Quietus."

Then it was time to eat and put the wand away-but not before the couples at the other tables had had a good laugh!

I hope that wherever you are you had a wonderful Halloween.  Nothing is more meaningful than sharing something you love with someone you love-be it a sports team, a hobby, or even the love of a book series!


And to all the Lily Mamas, the Molly Mamas, and even the Petunias and their Diddys- may your Patronus be strong and your dementors be few!

That mom...

I had planned to run a half marathon eight years ago. I was twenty eight, teaching Spanish at a middle school, and running with a science teacher. Then I got pregnant..... seven years later I live in another state with three children-two on the spectrum.  Not to mention I had moved twice in a year and didn't sell the house, blah blah blah life is hard.  Anyway, since Mother's Day, I made serious changes.  Why?  Because I was "that mom."

I didn't want to be "that mom."  The one with two children with I.E.P.s driving the principal crazy.  The one who is never on time, never sends anything in, and is severely overweight.  What did I love before I had kids?  Running- I needed to start running again.  How do you find the time to do something when you are not only a mom, but a work outside the home mom?  The answer is you lose something else. I lost sleep. I woke up early instead of sleeping when the kids sleep.  I still do or I take the two year old in a baby jogger around lunch time.  Sometimes I blog less so I can run more. But something had to give-I wanted it to be my weight.  I have found if I don't run first thing it won't happen because the rest of life goes on during the day. I also need to leave the house.  If I do the treadmill thing the children find me and we all remember the Oprah episode on the dangers of treadmills and babies.  I have enough with strabismus, kidney reflux, and autism.  I don't really need to add plastic surgery to my repertoire.

Here is how it has been since May:

1. Peer pressure can be a good thing. You need to work with other moms your age. You are not twenty two and you don't weigh 90 pounds.  Find moms that have the same goals you do.  Facebook is wonderful for good peer pressure. Every time someone you went to high school or college with "just finished a three mile run," you are motivated to get out and do it too.  Stay away from the Barbies you went to school with. Stay away from the Barbies you know now. Let them peer pressure each other.

2. Find another mom to run with.  She is just as motivated as you are to get some time alone and her old body BACK.  You also have plenty to talk about on a long run. You don't want to run with someone who is going to talk about investment banking and blink at you when you ask about a funky rash you found on your middle child.

3. Sign up for a race.  I remembered my original half marathon goal and decided on the October race in Hartford.  I wanted to prove to myself that you can go back again and that dreams and goals can come true, just not necessarily when you thought that they would.  Six months gave me plenty of time. If you have never run ever, shoot for a 5K.

4. Go slow. Don't worry about speed at this point. If something starts to hurt slow down.

5. Make a play list for when you run alone, and fill it with the cheesiest, ridiculously top 40 music you can think of.   Now is not the time for Bjork. Now is the time to Walk on Sunshine with Katrina and the Waves.

6. Race day-peer pressure again but with the group of people going at your speed, not the people way ahead of you.  I recommend a race because you have something to work towards and you have tons of people cheering as you go.  You don't have anyone cheering while you change diapers. No one cheers for the gluten free snacks you attempted to make and have the kids eat.  Did anyone cheer when you checked out of the grocery store with everything you needed and all three children still in their seats?  What about the day you taught all your classes and then made it to OT, Speech, and then gymnastics?  Applause? NO? Really?  All right then-run on.

The best thing about it is the stuff that used to drive you crazy isn't such a big deal when you run. You not only lose weight but you can handle whatever is going to happen during the day. And you KNOW something is going to happen.

I hope this doesn't mean I am getting used to my Connecticut surroundings. What am I going to do next? Trade my coffee for chai tea?  Don't hold your breath, but then again, I did run a half marathon.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month!

I wrote this for another site.  Enjoy!  I'm working on my half marathon reflection and will post it soon. 

My race

I can't believe that this Saturday I will run 13.1 miles.  It is all I can think about.  This started in 8th grade when the gym coach told us we had to run a mile and if we stopped we got a zero.  I was the first girl to come in and I threw up after I crossed the finish line. I promise I will be back-I have lots and lots of rough draft posts. But right now, I am focused on this little goal.

Busy Bee

Birthday, cooking class, half marathon coming, baby crying....gotta go!

Channeling Shirley Maclaine

Last year, I bragged to everyone about my abilities to “Walk away.”  I was and still am very proud of myself when I make choices that Judge Judy would approve of.  Do not get into it with someone crazier than you are.  You will have plenty of opportunities to lose it.  Walk away when you can.

But there are going to be times in your life when you can’t walk away.  You have to face the demon, whatever it is, head on.  There will be a time when you see someone you hoped would never return to your life.  For me it was a co-worker from the worst summer job ever.  Of course this was in an obnoxious “Mommy and Me” class and her little girl was a perfect angel while Frances was running around acting crazy.  I wasn’t about to quit, I had already paid for it and Frances needed it.  So I couldn’t walk away.

What do you do when you can’t walk away?

You channel Shirley MacLaine.

A little on Shirley and me-when I was twelve I remember my parents watching a television movie called “Out on a Limb.” Then I remember when she was on Oprah promoting her inner workout to access your chakra system. It’s almost my birthday, and you know I do something crazy on my birthday, so the chakras are looking cool to me right now.

I took a chakras test online so you know it is accurate.  Apparently my Third Eye is dangerously over active.  That means I live in a fantasy world most of the time and I’m prone to hallucinations.  Damn if I want to give any of that up…..

As I got older, I discovered cinema and movies, and rented old classics such as The Apartment and newer ones such as Terms of Endearment.  I have talked before about how much Debra Winger’s character Emma Horton annoys me.  That doesn’t stop me from crying in the all the right places.

I’m going to link the movie trailer here.  Now everyone take a moment and watch, and then I’ll keep going.  (Pause)

How many people teared up?  Don’t you want to have a daughter right now you can share everything with?  Don’t you want to get together with some girlfriends and have a good cry? Yay Shirley MaClaine!  Yay Debra Winger! Good memories, good emotions, pure love and endearment.

Um, No. For those of you with more to do than follow movie trivia, Debra Winger and Shirley MaClaine hated each other.  They really, really, hated each other.  Rumor has it Debra “tooted” in Shirley’s face. Go back and watch it again with that in mind.

Are they acting or what?  Shirley won the Oscar for that role, and she earned it.

When you see someone you don’t want to, and it will happen, use your Chakras just like Shirley, and keep your eye on that Oscar. 

Breathe, smile, apologize, and pretend you don’t know what is wrong.  Channel Shirley.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone came up to you and said, “Hi, eleven years ago I was a total snot to you….” Like in 12 step programs when you make a list of everyone you have harmed and make amends? 

Or even better, there is this great show called the Marriage Ref.  Different couples complain to a panel of A- list married people who decide who is right in the marriage.  A kick ass spin off would be, “Who’s the Bitch?” Who would be on that panel? Nellie Olsen from Little house on the Prairie, Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and the Step Sisters from Disney’s Cinderella.  They listen to both women involved and then point the finger and say, “You’re the bitch!”  The non-bitch would receive a spa day.  I would totally volunteer to be on the pilot episode and apologize and change my ways if I was the one found guilty of the bitchiness.

Since that isn’t going to happen, channel Shirley.  Smile, be nice, and then get away as fast as you can.  Mean girls are going to pop up in all times and places.  I almost wish I had encountered one in middle school instead of as an adult. At least now I live in another state.

Keep your eye on the Oscar ladies ;0)  And I wouldn't recommend passing gas on someone no matter how much you despise them.

Shirley, I don’t know what you were like in one of your past lives, but you have saved my ass in this one.  Thank you!

One more trip to the rainforest cafe

Last week I posted on the disaster that was our trip to a popular restaurant for children, The Rainforest Cafe. I see no need to put up a link to the post since it is right below this one.  While my sons enjoyed it, my daughter did not. Enough said.

Yesterday while we were cleaning up the playroom, my four year old was staring intently at some of his stuffed animals.  I could see those little wheels turning and was petrified he was going to do something like string all the animals from the ceiling or decide to color them red.  I braced myself to yell at him to once again, stay inside the box.  This is probably horrible to read for some of you, but you try living with him.  That wasn't what happened.

"Mom, Frances shouldn't have cried while we did something fun. Let's make a rainforest cafe at home."  Then he collected different animals that live in a rainforest and put them all over the kitchen.  After that, we made menus for our cafe. THEN-we hit youtube and found some calm rainforest music to play instead of animals going crazy in a storm.

We had dinner and popsicles in our cafe.  He turned to his sister and said, "Don't you love this now?  You shouldn't cry when we do something special, you should love it too."   I'll let the picture speak for itself:

There is always a way to have fun-Enjoy your Labor Day!